Sunday, April 14, 2013

Well, we lost to Hawthorn.
So, you know what that means.
It's time for another list.

So, Nathan Buckley, your team did well for a bit but I've got some stuff for you to get:

  • 1 x quick-fix recovery for Nick Maxwell (if not available then 1300-JESUS should do it)
  • 10 x Alex Fasolo
  • 2 x Ben Reid, just in case one goes down
  • 1 x Jye Bolton
  • 59 x donkeys for Travis Cloke
  • 8 x meatballs for Alex Fasolo (you deserve them, kiddo)
  • 1 x boyfriend arm pillow for Daisy to sleep with (if not available, I'd like to offer my services)
  • 1 x fix-ribs-quick for Darren Jolly 
  • 1 x petition for all Hawks players to wear bells so you know if they are coming up behind you
  • 1 x spray for Richmond players, delivered by Dave Hughes 
  • 1 x laxatives for Trent Cotchin's pre-game tea*
  • 22 x peptides to inject before the game
  • 1 x Josh Thomas (no, not you Comedian Josh, sit down)
  • 1 x sailing trip around the Whitsundays in September for Mick Malthouse
  • 1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo
  • 1 x marriage contract for me and Alex Fasolo to sign
  • 1 x weed for Buddy Franklin to snort
  • 1 x rules book for all AFL umpires
  • 1 x brain for Heath Shaw (I'm sorry, but you can't just grab someone's jumper and shove them to the ground, jaysus)
  • 1 x Will Minson to help me with my Maths assignment (did ya know Minson tutored a teammate in maths, the kid was able to play a solid 5 quarters)

And yeah.
We are going to beat those Tigers and send them back down to 9th.

*I just assume he's a tea person, okay. He looks like a tea person.

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