Saturday, March 21, 2015

LIST #8284924

Okay, so Collingwood lost to Carlton (boooo) and also got thrashed by the Doggies (oops) and yeah yeah it was just nab challenge crap or whatever but we have to beat dayne beams WE HAVE TO, WE CAN'T LET HIM WIN, IT'S JUST NOT OKAY.

so i'm bringing back the lists
b/c nathan buckley probably needs help

  • 1 x exact replica of dayne beams WE NEED ONE SO BADLY
  • 6 x Alex Fasolo's, b/c you can never go wrong with a few more sexy babes
  • 29 x Steele Sidebottom
  • 1 x book titled "how to kick straight for dummies" for Taylor Adams
  • 20 x pairs of glasses for any player who can't tell the difference between a mostly blue jumper and a black-and-white one (BASICALLY ALL THE PLAYERS)
  • 1 x birthday cake for timmy darling 
  • 1 x cake for Alex Fasolo b/c he would want one idk 
  •  20 x book titled "how to make space and a lead and just genuinely help out your poor teammate with the ball" for basically everyone, I guess
  • 1 x lesson on how to kick to Travis Cloke's hands
  • 1 x lesson on how to pick up the ball AND HOLD ONTO IT FOR GOD'S SAKE
  • 1 x magnet for the match-day ball so it gravitates to collingwood players
  • 1 x "accidental fire" at whatever TAB that Jack Crisp put a bet on at, so that all records are lost
  • 1 x Lachlan Keeffe + beard
  • 1 x padded-up Ben Reid (honestly, how does he even get by in life, like does he ever stub his toe on the couch and just shatter into two million pieces????)
  • 1 x Jonathon Marsh b/c it'd really suit us to have a "coach" on the field to yell at the other players BECAUSE THEY NEED YELLING AT. 
  • 1 x Matt Scharenberg I WANT HIM TO PLAY NOW. I MISS HIM.
  • 1 x Jordan De Goey (gooey)
  • 1 x Timmyyyyy
  • 1 x BenKen
  • 1 x Patty K
  • 1 x treasure map for Alex Fasolo to lead him to the treasure (me)
  • 1 x catfish under the backseat of Dayne Beams' car (ewwww)
  • 1 x Seedsy with his cool hair and funky penguin waddle
  • 1 x mark-taking Clinton Young (not the other one)
  • 1 x Patrick Dangerfield
okay okay, whatever
I'll just go mail this list to Nathan Buckley and yeah we're all set. Bring on the Lions. You're welcome, Collingwood supporters.