Also we need to beat St Kilda. Like there's no other option. And we need to get our best team ready for ANZAC day b/c we need to win there too. Also we need to beat Carlton b/c deep down Mick would want a Collingwood win when he celebrates passing Jock's record.
- 1 x miracle to quickly heal Sidebottom's thumb ASAP
- 32 x Steele Sidebottom
- 1 x lesson on how to kick to a teammate
- 821834 x books titled "how to make a lead and give your poor teammate something to kick to FOR DUMMIES" for like everyone
- 1 x jordan de goey (gooey)
- 1 x rising star nom for Timmy
- 1 x quick-fix healing stuff for Sinclair's hamstring
- 8 x Alex Fasolo (just because)
- 2 x hair appointments for Faz and Jamie (might stop them checking their hair and get them kicking more goals)
- 1 x box of matches to burn down ASADA and all their dumb records
1 x gatorade drink for Ahmed Saad(soz)
- 1 x catfish placed in Nick Riewoldt's bed
- 1 x lesson on how to make space on the ground
- 1 x lesson on how to take a kick-in and look for other options than brodie grundy
- 1 x brain for Jesse White (HE JUST DOES DUMB THINGS AND HE COULD BE SO MUCH BETTER. I EXPECT BETTER THINGS OF YOU, JESS)
- 1 x Scharenberg (when is he coming backkkk *sulk*)
- 1 x pen for Patty Dangerfield to sign the contract we give him
- 1 x Nathan Freeman
- 1 x slab of beer for Swanny (NO, BAD SWANNY, GO KICK THE BALL INTO THE POST ANOTHER TIME)
- 1 x rising star medal for Timmy.
- 1 x reserved seat on ANZAC day for me (come on, fazzy, love me. get me ticket.)
- 1 x Ben Reid.
I will go mail this list to my good buddy Nathan right now. If we follow the lists, there's no way we can lose. I think.
Anyway, we tried. That's all that matters. "When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get" - old proverb (probably Homer Simpson idk)