Friday, September 21, 2012

And that's the end of what was truly a good season. We got further than our arch nemisis' Carlton and Essendon, much further than our conqueror Geelong and managed to make the finals and not go out in straight sets.

It still sucks.
There's not much that happens in the off season of footy so yeah, it really sucks.

Here's some events to look forward to:

  • Travis Cloke finally signing his $1 million contract. Thank god, we can breathe easy that he is staying, and he can breathe easy that he can afford that cake he's been eyeing off.
  • Mad Monday. Seeing all their costumes and reading their drunk tweets on Twitter. Such as "GETTTT UPPPP". It's quite enjoyable.
  • Announcement of the fixture for 2013 a.k.a. where we find out we have to play Hawks, Carlton, West Coast (both in Perth), North, and Sydney not once, not twice but FOUR TIMES. Also that we never play the Suns or Giants because someone at the AFL hates our guts. Sigh.
  • Caff's Big Shave. I desperately want a piece of his beard omg. 
  • The launch of Daisy's pink underwear range. I can't wait, I'm going to save up my pennies and buy several pairs, all signed by Daisy himself.
  • The trip to Arizona. Mainly just the photos of their abs and other extremely muscular body parts. Mm.
  • Chris Tarrant's modelling career. Enough said.
  • The main draft/rookie draft/Trade Week(s). Where we somehow manage to get Jye Bolton back. I don't want anyone else, I just want Jye. SULK.
  • Nab Cup premiers.
And then the season starts.
And we smash every team including Carlton who win the wooden spoon at the end. Serves Mick Malthouse right for LYING to us and then trying to steal our players. Not gonna happen, Mick. 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Off to Sydney today (with a slight detour - RIP JMac, love you and miss you always xoxo) to get ready and pumped for Friday night's match.

I snuck into Bucks' house yesterday (well, not really "snuck" because me and Bucks are awfully close and have coffee on Sunday mornings) and managed to get hold of his packing list.

5 x underwear, just in case
4 x pink underwear, just in case Daisy forgets (which he usually does)
3 x painkillers for Chris Dawes (again, just in case)
1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo
1 x copy of "how to kick goals for dummies" just in case the forwards forget
1 x cake
6 x donkeys (as Travis doesn't have room in his suitcase)
5 x hair gel in case Sharrod forgets
9 x shots of caffeine to energise the group at half time especially Faz
1 x llama (for company)
1 x pair of lucky socks
1 x iPod (containing that epic TSwifty song WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHERRRR LIKE EVERRRR and also some Biebz too)
1 x laptop and that USB thingy that contains the interwebz just in case hotel doesn't supply wi-fi (need to download the latest Glee epiosde tomorrow)
1 x present for John Longmire (special home-grown mushrooms that were found randomly on the nature strip)
22 x tickets to see Madagascar 3 on Friday night, to be given to the whole Sydney team
1 x tub of ice-cream in case Faz gets hungry
1 x special head gear for Darren Jolly because there'll be twice the amount of Reids on the ground and twice the amount of chances to have Reid's knee in Jolly's head (the joke never gets old, okay, omg)
1 x Cameron Wood just so Travis has someone to cuddle at night
1 x SLR camera for Harry O

And yeah.
We're gonna win, we're gonna beat the Swannies and then we'll smash Hawks back to Tasmania, yeah baby!

Sunday, September 16, 2012



First, Six had the first person, and then John, so that's okay. And now it's Marina. wHY omg whyy. Stop switching the first person narative around it's putrid ugh


Oh yay, Nine just basically called John an asshole.
John, I love Sam as much as the next guy, but come on, facing the Mogadorians just to get him back is like a death trap. Nine is right. Stop being an asshole.


Omg, Number Nine is the best okay.
I ship him with... yes, you guessed it, ME.


Er, is this Number Eight guy magical or something?
Can he predict the future?
Why is he so brave omg surely the Mogadorians have tracked him down by now, surely?


I'm reading the Rise of Nine and I will be blogging about it here.

Some thoughts on the first few pages:

  • Six now looks like the actor who plays her: with blonde hair
  • John had a vision about Sam, idk if it's true or not, and idk how i feel about it
  • Six & co are in India, and they jumped in a taxi who is a totally crazy driver 
  • oh and Six' name is Veronica
  • and yep

Saturday, September 8, 2012


We lost on Friday night, but the pussycats lost too so that's good, right? I think? I mean, I hope Freo or Adelaide can beat the Hawks because otherwise...

We are playing Eagles/North next week.
Here is a list of things that Bucks need to do before then (my spies stole into Bucks' office and found this list on a word document on the desktop, I'm not making it up):

  • Inject more caffeine into Alex Fasolo's ice-cream
  • Burn all the tapes at the MRP Head Office
  • Eat cake.
  • Wrap Jolly in some ice if he even mentions soreness or if you see him limping
  • Teach Daisy how to comb his hair
  • Cancel one training session and have "Teach Daisy the basics of football" instead
  • Get Travis to teach Dawes how to kick bags of goals
  • Take Faz out for coffee
  • Skype session with his spies in Perth later tonight
  • Book an appointment at Madd Hair
  • Search up google images for pictures of George Clooney
  • Grab one of Travis' hairs and attempt to clone the DNA
  • Also grab one of Jolly's hairs, also for cloning
  • Quietly nick one of Sharrod's hairs, not for cloning, but just because his hair is so lovely
  • Order several copies of 'How to kick goals for Dummies' - for everyone except Travis and Krak
  • Send a letter to John Worsfold to reach him by Friday
  • Put several scoops of anthrax in the aforementioned letter
  • Also send a letter with anthrax to Brad Scott, just for funsies
  • Eat more cake
  • Give a piece of cake to Faz
  • Eat the rest of the cake
And yeah.
Busy week for Nathan Buckley.
I swear I didn't make any of this up omg how could I possibly do that? Jaysus.

Saturday, September 1, 2012


Let's just ignore the fact that Essendon are a dud team and that we played alright-ish, let's ignore it okay.

Now, because we only played alright-ish, I don't think that's good enough to beat the Hawks. Or maybe it is? idk idk maybe Hawks will think it's so easy that they don't even bother showing up. Maybe...

Time for another list:
1 x Leigh Brown (we need a second ruck okay, Maxy*/Goldsack/Elliott will just not do)
1 x Chris Dawes (I know, I know, he's not great, but if Leigh Brown isn't available...)
50 x donkeys for Travis Cloke (as a thank-you gift for finding some form)
9 x spiked urine samples for Buddy Franklin. (the weed didn't work so let's get crafty)
22 x packets of prescription drugs to go in the lockers of any Hawks who will play on Friday. (got this handy little trick off Winners & Losers, teehee)
1 x holiday for Alastair Clarkson. A nice relaxing cruise, with lovely soft padding on the walls.
1 x quick-fix ankle treatment for Tyson Goldsack.
10 x ice-creams for Alex Fasolo.
1 x slab of beer for Dane Swan (to be drunk after we win the Grand Final, and will be used as a dangling carrot to make Swanny play extra better)
3 x hair gel for Sharrod Wellingham.
8 x pink underwear for Daisy Thomas.
1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo.
1 x Jarryd Blair.
22 x tickets to see the Kath & Kim movie on Friday night for all Hawks listed in the team on Thursday night.
1 x pair of fluoro green boots for Chris Dawes. (Well, they worked for Travis, right?)

And yeah, that's all for now.

*Maxy was good in the ruck, but it was a little rough for him and the poor thing nearly got injured. We have to minimise all injuries, yep.