Getting flogged by North has taught us a lesson.

We need more sleeve tattoos.

And more Swanny's and a stack of Beamsy's. Quick, someone get a pen and paper so I can write down this order.
1 x hair gel for Daisy Thomas.
57 x hair gel for Sharrod Wellingham.
8 x mud cakes for Alex Fasolo (with an extra four scoops of ice-cream)
3 x packets of glue for Chris Dawes. (to go on his hands, of course, why else?)
22 x me, for each of the players. 
1 x nail clippers, for Daisy Thomas. (heh)
21 x players who can actually kick properly to people who are tall but not that tall, for Travis Cloke.
1 x Ben Johnson, just because of reasons.
1 x Krakouer, also because of reasons.
1 x prying rod, to pry Reid's knee out of Jolly's head. (omg, the joke never gets old, okay, shut up)
1 x Josh Thomas, again, because of reasons.
1 x Jye Bolton.
3 x pairs of pink underwear, for Daisy Thomas.

EDIT: I forgot to add some things.

1 x souvenir Fremantle jumper for Chris Tarrant, just to remind him of WHY we sent him over there, and WHY we got him back.
1 x number 3 Collingwood jumper, for Nathan Brown to give his brother.
1 x holiday booked in September for the following people: the whole Hawthorn team, Chris Judd, Brad Scott, and of course Jimmy Bartel.
1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo. (idk, I just imagined Faz with a puppy, and my brain exploded with cuteness)
1 x digital SLR camera, for Harry O'Brien. (y'know, for Weekly Steele Photos, of course)
1 x proper manager for Travis Cloke.
41 x donkeys for Travis Cloke. (because you can never have enough in your kitchen, trust me)
1 x slab of beer for Dane Swan. (WHO PUT THIS ON THE LIST, OMG GO AWAY, SWANNY, STOP STEALING THE PEN)
1 x packet of bright pink berries for Stephen Milne. (delivered to him with a big pink bow and frilly white lace around it)
1 x razor for Brent Macaffer.

And yeah.
Someone send this list to Nathan Buckley, thanks.