Wednesday, January 11, 2017

FANFIC #829424

"Knight to E4," I said, staring at the chess board.
Mitchie J picked up my knight and moved it to E4. "You have to actually pick it up, this isn't wizard's chess," he explained.
"Huh," I said, understanding.
We sat in silence for a few minutes until I piped up with, "Uh, Mitch? Your turn."
Mitch jumped and blinked a few times. "Shit, sorry, just distracted."
I knocked the whole chess board off the table.
Mitch jumped again.
"Are you still thinking about your old mate KP?" I asked him.
"No," Mitch scowled.
And then: "...Yes." Mitch sighed. "I haven't seen him in years. I dunno what he'll be like. Do you think he missed me? What do I say?"
"Hm," I said.
"Maybe.." I said, thinking some more. "You should..."
"THROW A PIE!" Me and Mitch said at the same time like all good bffs do.
We fell on the ground laughing.

*4 hours later*
I stood in the stands at the WACA near the race that the Perth Scorchers come out of. Mitch came over to where I was, and signed a few kids' shirts and bats.
"You got everything?" I asked him, feeling a bit nervous about our plan.
"Yeah," Mitch answered.
"Good luck," I said.
"Thanks," he said.

The game was on. Quiney had just tried to hit his 17th six and failed and was walking back to the pavilion. I watched from the sidelines as Kevin Pietersen walked to the crease, swishing his rhino bat at imaginary cricket balls as he walked.
I looked at Mitchie J, standing at the top of his mark, taking deep breaths.
KP got to the crease.
KP got ready to face the ball.
Mitchie J breathed a few more times, twirling the ball in his hand.
KP was ready.
Mitchie J started his run up.
He kept running.
at the crease
he launched the ball into the perfect bouncer
at the last second
right before the ball smashed into KP's helmet
it turned into a pie
and splattered all over the grille
and into KP's smug little face

The crowd wowed and gasped, in absolute hysterics.
I laughed.
Mitchie J laughed.
KP was mortified.

At the end of the game, I met Mitchie J at a bar down the road from the WACA.
"You did good," I said, nursing my cider.
"He hit me for 5 sixes in one over," Mitch said, shaking his head and taking a big gulp of beer, "And our team lost."
I laughed. "That was the best part."
Mitch scowled at me and chucked a pie in my face.