HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It is now 2013, or as I* like to call it: 20daisy.

I spent New Year's Eve at a friend's house, and we watched The Office (U.S.) and the Rocky Horror movie and then walked to the park to watch people launch illegal fireworks into the sky and hope the police don't come by.

It was the first time I've seen Rocky Horror omg
But I've seen the Glee episode so it was pretty similar but better.
And Meatloaf died.
Poor thing.
He'll never get to perform at the 2011 AFL Grand Final and get criticised for it.
I don't care what anyone says about that performance, I liked it. Well, I liked the first song he sung. Which was the Rocky Horror one - Hot Patootie or something. I can't even remember if he sang Paradise by the Dashboard Light or anything else, b/c idk any Meatloaf songs.

Anyway.
The Office was hilarious. We only watched a few episodes (maybe about 5 or 6) but so so so funny.
Good times.

As for New Year's Resolutions this year: idk.
Here's my list:

• More exercise
• Less Tumblr
• Less Glee
• stop downloading Glee every Friday at 2pm, and reblogging every photoset about Sammy Evans
• get a life
• less chocolate
• actually stop eating chocolate altogether, already eaten enough to last me several lifetimes
• marry Alex Fasolo**
• invent machine that turns fictional characters into real people

And yeah.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not great at keeping resolutions.

lol exercise, that ain't happening /fatty

It was funny on The Office, how Dwight put a fire in the office and everyone's like panicking to get out and some are smashing windows and climbing through the roof and rescuing the cat and a guy ran up to the vending machine and starts smashing the glass... that guy is me.

Good times.

Cool story bro.

Bye.

*Well, not me. Daisy himself thought of it. My future husband is so clever.
**Or Daisy, if Alex doesn't accept my marriage proposal. Or Chord Overstreet. Or any of the Glee cast, I don't mind, I'm not fussy. Can I have Chris Martin too, kthx.

CATCHING FIRE

Okay guise, remember my posts (Part 1 and 2) where I suggested songs for the Hunger Games soundtrack?

Yeah well, here's one for Catching Fire:

• Rock Around The Clock - sung by Finnick, Katniss, Peeta and co. They can dance around the clock, going past each segment singing this. Fun times
• Smooth Criminal by MJ - sung by Finnick, when the jabberjays were torturing him. ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY ANNIE~

Also, here's some for Mockingjay:

• Fix You by Coldplay - sung by Katniss to Peeta when the Capitol muck up his brain

And yeah.

Enjoy!

Triple J's Hottest 100

You guise, I did it, I voted! 

It only took me two hours or something, and it took forever to narrow down the Temper Trap songs to just 3, haha. I could've had more of them, but I wanted to include a few of Lisa Mitchell's, plus a few others.

Also, I thought about putting in Muse's Olympic song (Survival) but idk, it wouldn't fit.

I honestly didn't realise Lisa Mitchell had an album out this year omg and I did the stupid thing of putting them all on my shortlist and listening to them. Not really a stupid thing, but it meant I had to include some of them and I DON'T HAVE ROOM.

I had to cut out the other Bat For Lashes song (All Your Gold) which was annoying but again, NO ROOM.

I also like Rabbit Hole and London's Burning, and also Never Again, so that was annoying too.

Matt Corby is rad.

I don't understand the {Like a Version} songs though, like Temper Trap covered Don't Fight It and it's on the list to choose from. I should listen to Triple J more often, haha. :/

Also, I don't like that Thrift Shop song.

what

For the #1 song of the year, I chose Trembling Hands (duh). It was either that or Laura, and I saw Temper Trap live so yeah.

I'M MORE THAN A SUPERSTARRRR

And now we wait. For Australia Day. Fun times.
omg remember when I went to Hanging Rock on Australia Day a few years ago and the kangaroos were all over the field like a rash, and they cancelled the horsey races hahaha
and remember last year when Somebody I Used To Know got #1 which everyone easily predicted, ha
and Matt Corby got #3 (or something) for his song Brother, Australian Idol represent.

If that Thrift Shop song gets #1, I'll kill everyone. Ugh.

They really need to make it more than 10, because I really couldn't narrow it down. I had about 20 songs (in total) that I really wanted to vote for, and about 36 songs that I had on my shortlist.
It would've been more if I listen to Triple J on a regular basis, of course.
I reckon other people would have close to 50 or 100 songs on their shortlist, just because they actually listen to Triple J and know more songs than me.
lol, at least we all know how to put the "short" in shortlist. Heh.

SONGS THAT I VOTED FOR:

Bat For Lashes - Laura 

Florence + The Machine - Spectrum (Say My Name) {Calvin Harris Remix} 

Lisa Mitchell - Bless This Mess 

Lisa Mitchell - Spiritus 

Lisa Mitchell - The Story Of The Raven And The Mushroom Man 

Matt Corby - Souls A'Fire 

Missy Higgins - Unashamed Desire 

Temper Trap, The - Need Your Love 

Temper Trap, The - This Isn't Happiness 

Temper Trap, The - Trembling Hands

TREMBLING HANDS FOR #1, WOOOOO!

yeah

CRICKET.

So, South Africa came, they conquered, they left.
Left with their #1 title and glory, while we stay here, still at #3 and a bowling problem and a serious need for some great batsman (I said SOME, omg we don't need to replace Huss and Pup).

Anyway.
All is not lost! I presume Sri Lanka are clutching on to the #2 position with their sweaty paws, so we'll knock 'em off, ay.

Let's rank our players and be the judge on whether they stay in the team or not.

• Captain AwesomePup - the most awesome captain ever, not including all the previous captains. Two double centuries in consecutive matches, mad skillz. Awesome. But not so good batting in the 3rd Test means only a 9/10. Still.
• SuperHussey - a few centuries and saving people from burning buildings. Never leave us, Huss. Ever. 
• Siddle - super effort, especially his effort in the 2nd Test. Even the 1st Test was excellent. Works hard on energy from a lentil burger. 
• JPattz - As good as a bowler as Siddle but with added steaks. Sucks that he got injured. A miracle and he'll be back for Boxing Day. Yeah.
• Warner - flashes of star quality
• Cowan - see Warner
• Twatto - what kind of fitness test did he pass and how can we get it eliminated?
• Ponting - will miss him. Legend. Made a score of 8 in his last innings to show everyone why he retired.
• Wadey - better than Haddin. Could bring in Painey for a Test (that's Tim Paine, not Jackson), or maybe save Paine for the One Dayers? idk idk Paine's injury run of broken fingers has been terrible for him, but let's not compare that to Wadey's "injury".
• Hilfenhaus - great for bowling out tailenders. Good to have around when everyone else is tired.
• Starsky - MAD SKILLZ. A six faaaa and a maiden half Test century. 
• Mitchie J - ha
• Hastings - you tried
• Lyon - MAD SKILLZ. and that's not even about his batting.

And yeah.

The XI for the next Test (Hobart, December 14th) based on the above information will be:

Warner, Cowan, Twatto (unless a replacement appears), Khawajaahdakaja (idk his name), Captain AwesomePup, SuperHussey, Wadey, Starsky, Siddle, Lyon, Hilfenhaus.

Bye.

BREAKING DAWN PART 2: REVIEW TIME

It was rad omg.
(There may be spoilers okay, just bare with me)

We only saw Jacob's abs once though (highlight of the movie), but it was a great scene because Jacob got to strip off his top and then his pants and trust me, it was great.

And Renesme was SO. ADORABLE.
omg
She was the cutest.

And Jamie Campbell Bower was there, he was one of the Volturi. And at one point, he tried to argue with the leader guy, and the leader was like, "umm stop" and I'm like, "YEAH, SHUT UP JACE."

One of the good vampires was like really hot, Garrett or something. And omg Benjamin.

Oh and then when the Volturi came (spoiler alert), they were all standing around discussing and then just as the Volturi were like, "lol, but what if this kid grows up and kills us all" and Alice came, and showed the leader her visions and then THE FIGHTING there was lots of fighting, it got scary, CARLISLE DIED and I may have gotten upset over that (because it wasn't in the book) and I'm pretty sure Seth and Leah and other wolves died and that was pretty sad omg and then they ended up killing Jane/Dakota Fanning, and they killed Jace/Caius/whoever (when I was like "NO, NOT JACE!" okay maybe not that loud but still) and omg when they killed the leader guy (Aro, I think, the guy with the weird face), I may have cheered b/c he sucks.

AND THEN all the fighting turned out to be Alice's VISION omg so all those people weren't really dead and once Aro saw the vision, he was like, "lol, let's get out of here, I don't wanna die" and quickly gtfo.

Oh and at the end, I didn't expect they'd go through all the characters/actors that have ever been in the Twilight saga.
But they did omg
I cheered when they mentioned Bree Tanner/Jodelle Ferland, haha. But she's so adorable, and I read that spin-off book and that was the saddest book ever, and I may have cried over Bree and Diego b/c they both died but IT WAS SO SAD.
They even mentioned Jessica/Anna Kendrick and the other school friends - they were the best omg.
"Hey Arizona, how you likin' the rain?"
"Hey you're from Arizona - aren't people from Arizona meant to be really tanned?"
"La Push, baby! It's La Push!"
"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case, a princess"

Anyway.
Let's do best parts/worst parts.

BEST parts:

• Jacob's abs
• Renesme
• Bella/Edward sex scene (especially when Alice goes before, "Have funnn!" and I was like, "oh they will~")
• Bella getting mad at Jacob was hilarious, especially when he said "Nessie" and Bella was like, "YOU NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER" and it was hilarious
• Benjamin
• Garrett
• Jace/Jamie Campbell Bower/whoever, idk anymore
• Charlie
• Carlisle and Esme - my adoptive parents, yeah
• Rosalie being all cute with the baby, like she'd be like, "My turn with Renesme!" and take the baby out of Bella's arms, hahaha.
• Emmett had some funny lines too omg
• oh and the hunting scene was done really well, how Bella didn't attack the deer, she attacked this lion thing that was about to attack the deer. SHE'S SO SMART OMG

WORST parts:

• Bella/Edward sex scene not showing much (damn G rated movie!)
• Carlisle dying - I really want him to adopt me okay. Gosh.
• only one scene of Jacob's abs
• the fact that Charlie's relationship with Seth's mum was never delved into, so it just seems weird to me, idk idk, I'm happy for Charlie but idk shut up, like they never said (in the book or movie) whether Charlie and Seth's mum were dating or just friends, and also Seth's dad died at the end of New Moon  or something, so it's a teeny bit early for the mother to start dating again? idk idk whatever

And yeah

Well, the good outweighs the bad (idk, I think so) so I recommend you spend your hard earned cash on some quality entertainment that is Breaking Dawn Part 2.

Go on a Tuesday b/c cheap

I'm such a tightarse omg

Tuesdays are the best

I will miss Twilight omg, it's the end of an era and it's sad b/c no more twilight movies.

They should make the Spin-off of Bree Tanner into a movie SHUT UP, I'D WATCH IT and I'd bring a billion tissue boxes b/c sad and otp feels and just sad

THE END.

FANFIC #2874

Author's note: I am kind of bitter about last night's X Factor finale and also Starsky not being in the team tomorrow, so here's a fanfic about me and my bff Mitchell Johnson to ease my pain.

"Stand up something something, turn off the lights, give up and surrender," I sang, sitting on a swing and twisting around on it.
"Please shut up," my bff Mitchie J said quietly. He sat on the other swing, not moving, staring into the distance.
"What's up, Mitchie?" I asked him, "Your problem is no bigger than mine."
"Your problem?" Mitchie asked, looking at me incredulously, "I can't even bowl straight!"
I laughed. "Oh right," I said, agreeing with him, "Fair enough."
"But seriously," Mitchie said, looking at me with kind eyes, "What is getting you down?"
"The Collective lost," I said, glumly, "So did Jason."
"Did you vote?" Mitchie said, accusingly.
"Yes!" I defended, "I actually did, omg. It was just one vote but STILL."
"Sammi Jade is good," Mitchie mused.
"Her winner's single sucked monkey nuts," I said.
Mitchie raised his eyebrows. "And Jason's...?"
"His was GOOD, it was like Love Story," I argued.
"Okay then," Mitchie said, not believing me.

Just then, we heard a branch breaking behind us.
I turned to look.
It was Jacques Kallis.
"Could you not fall on the ground and break a branch off a tree?" I asked him, angrily.
"D'urgggg?" Kallis said.
I stood up.
I got a raspberry pie from my back pocket.
I chucked it.
It only hit Kallis' big toe which only made him angrier.
I winced.

Mitchie jumped up and, darting past me, bowled a cricket ball at Kallis.
Kallis goes, "D'URGGG?" as he stared at the cricket ball.
Then the ball turned into a pie and slapped Kallis right in the face.

I laughed.
Mitchie laughed.
Kallis ran away.

THE END~

COLDPLAY

I went to the Coldplay concert last night.
It was EPIC.
Omg

We got there early, at like 6pm, and went to our seat (Level 1, Aisle 11 - pretty close to the stage so yeah) and just chatted and ate hot chips.
And the Pierces came on and they were actually really good. I'd never heard of them, and the stadium was only about half-full (or half empty?) but yeah.
They sung a few songs, but I'd actually heard one of the songs (it was called Secret or something, idk?) because it had been played on Big Brother. I don't even watch Big Brother but omg how would I know that?

And then, after a cheese sandwich eaten by yours truly, the Temper Trap came on and HOW GOOD WERE THEY, oh right I'm the one writing this review sorry.
But yeah.
Of course I'd heard of this band, because they are from Melbourne and that is epic. Yeah. Omg.
They played the Drum Song too, which is the best song ever wow. Also Trembling Hands, Sweet Disposition, etc etc heaps of other sweet tunes.

And then: COLDPLAY.
Everyone had a wristband which lit up at the same time. So everytime they were lit, the whole audience looked like a starry sky, but a colourful starry sky with pinks and greens and reds and blues and OMG IT LOOKED MAGICAL.
And Chris Martin was amazing, so so so so good.
there was a runway and he would sometimes go along there and dance around, twirling and stuff. It was so amazing.
And the crowd all sung along at some parts (especially Fix You, Scientist, Paradise) so that was so rad.
Halfway through, we all stood up and clapped along, which was pretty epic.
And the ENCORE.
like they left and must have gone around to the other side, to a stage in the middle of Standing Room B.
So that was pretty cool.

Like, I swear, it was AMAZING.
I was with my friend who's not really the biggest Coldplay/Temper Trap fan (still knew a few songs though), but she loved every minute.
Would totez recommend.
Omg.
I feel like running up to Sydney and Brisbane, and going to those too. (Man, where's that $100 million I won in the lotto, oh wait...)
AMAZING.
BRILLIANT.

POST CONCERT DEPRESSION, COME AT ME.

(lol, this is the first proper concert I've been to, I went to the Wiggles when I was 2, and I'm sure that was MAGICAL and BRILLIANT but I barely remember it)

I will post photos a little later, okay.
My camera wasn't that great though. (I only had my phone, lol)
Anyway.
Good times.

TODAY

I voted.
...For this Rodney dude, because he is going to make Patterson Station a Zone 1 or something, idk whatever. It sounded better than all the other ones which were just promising mundane things.

I don't even catch the train from Patterson station, it's just that when I went to OLSH and we had an excursion to the city, I'd always have the tough decision of either walking the longer distance (about 5 minutes) to Bentleigh and getting a cheaper ticket, or walking the shorter distance (2 minutes) and paying extra for a Zone 1 and 2 ticket.
It was always a LOSE-LOSE situation. Expend more energy or pay more money. I DON'T KNOW.
(Although, there was a cheap sushi shop right next to Bentleigh station so lunch was sorted if I chose that option)

Anyway, I thought I should give my vote to Rodney, I thought of the future OLSH students and how I don't want the poor suckers to face the hardships I went through. It's called kindness. You guise should get some.

In other news, trade week/s is over. Thank God.
The next events:

• October 31 - release of next year's fixture a.k.a. when Mick Malthouse whinges over Carlton's draw even though Carlton will get the easiest draw imaginable (like every other year) and it's only because they suck that they can't make the most of it.
• Some time between now and when pre-season starts - the signing of Benny J, Krakouer, the fourth Beak (Woody) and whoever else.
• November 9 - Glee returns
• November 13 - COLDPLAY (AND TEMPER TRAP) CONCERT EEEEP
• November 22 - getting some young'uns who can shine Nathan Buckley's shoes and fetch him coffee 
• Late November - me jumping in Daisy's suitcase and going to Utah. 
• Mid-December - Caff's Big Shave. OR SOMEONE'S BIG SHAVE, IDK I JUST WANT SOMEONE'S HAIR OKAY I AM A HAIR COLLECTOR, I COLLECT FOOTBALLER'S HAIR FOR A LIVING SHUT UP.
• December 25 - Santa comes to all the good boys and girls and delivers PlayStations and Wiis to the rich kids and tumbleweeds to the poor ones. Also, gives books to me.
• January 1 - HAPPY NEW YEAR
• February 14 - Daisy gives me flowers
• February 15 - Daisy gives Essendon and Doggies a huge thrashing
• March 6 - Daisy gives me cake

etc etc

whatever.

bye

TRADE WEEK/S

We now have Jordan Russell.
I miss Tom Young, though.
Sigh.

But yeah, this Jordan kid is like a defender and he's from Carlton so hopefully he tells us their secrets and we'll smash 'em in Round 2. Mick Malthouse won't know what hit him (mainly because his cataracts are almost blinding him, but also because we're really good and fast and awesome).

Anyhoo, Trade Week/s ends tomorrow at 2 and we did alright*.
We got Clinton Young and Quinten Lynch (both premiership players), plus Jordan Russell who wouldn't know what a premiership was but don't worry, we'll give him one. Also, all these sweet draft picks, a few of them in the 1st round.
Hope we pick up some sweet deals, like little superstars like Swanny and Pendles.

*If by alright, you mean losing two premiership players (one of which is still in the best form of his career, and the other is Dawes).

My future visit to the Westpac Centre: a transcript

"Listen up, fellas, we got a situation on our hands. Hurry up and sign Benny J and Krakouer, okay, and also Cam Wood, I mean if you're keeping the other ruckman, why not Cam? You gave him like one game this year against the hardest ruck duo of this millenium and not even Dawes played well that game. Also, we need Clinton Young, so someone get on that. Now. Oh and someone get to Chris Dawes, butter him up with some candy, some sweet talk, I don't know, use your brain! We need him. He was fine in 2010 when we had Browny and Cloke, so why not Q-stick and Cloke in '13? anyhoo, if you can't get Dawesy back on our side, demand that Watts kid from Melbourne. Don't even bother with Petterd, he's so 2010. I mean, I know the kid nearly beat us single-handedly in Round 2 but come on, he got injured a few weeks later and is probably shite now. As are all the Demons. Get Jack Watts or don't even bother."

the end.
I wrote that, because this month is going too slowly and Trade Week is too slow and I want to know everything and I think that I know everything but I don't, I don't know anything, absolutely nothing because my bff isn't Geoff Walsh or Nathan Buckley or whoever.
I wish my bff was Nathan Buckley. We would sit around drinking strawberry milkshakes and fangirling over Alex Fasolo.

Dear West Coast Eagles,

As you are well aware, our superstar, premiership player and One Direction member Sharrod Wellingham would like to go to your club. As he is of legendary status, we'd like the following things in exchange:

• Luke Shuey.
• Nathan Brown 2.0
• A bag of Skittles
• Matt Rosa
• One blue rose
• Several donkeys with waffle-making abilities
• World peace
• A puppy
• Chocolate mud cake with sprinkles

Thank you for your cooperation. 

Sincerely, 

me

P.S. Could you please neuter those Selwoods of yours, they seem to be breeding like crazy and are a pest to society. No offence.

And that's the end of what was truly a good season. We got further than our arch nemisis' Carlton and Essendon, much further than our conqueror Geelong and managed to make the finals and not go out in straight sets.

It still sucks.
There's not much that happens in the off season of footy so yeah, it really sucks.

Here's some events to look forward to:

• Travis Cloke finally signing his $1 million contract. Thank god, we can breathe easy that he is staying, and he can breathe easy that he can afford that cake he's been eyeing off.
• Mad Monday. Seeing all their costumes and reading their drunk tweets on Twitter. Such as "GETTTT UPPPP". It's quite enjoyable.
• Brownlow. BACK TO BACK BROWNLOW MEDALS AND A SLAB OF BEER FOR SWANNY. 
• Copeland Trophy. DAYNE BEAMS THE SUPERSTAR.
• Announcement of the fixture for 2013 a.k.a. where we find out we have to play Hawks, Carlton, West Coast (both in Perth), North, and Sydney not once, not twice but FOUR TIMES. Also that we never play the Suns or Giants because someone at the AFL hates our guts. Sigh.
• Caff's Big Shave. I desperately want a piece of his beard omg. 
• The launch of Daisy's pink underwear range. I can't wait, I'm going to save up my pennies and buy several pairs, all signed by Daisy himself.
• The trip to Arizona. Mainly just the photos of their abs and other extremely muscular body parts. Mm.
• Chris Tarrant's modelling career. Enough said.
• The main draft/rookie draft/Trade Week(s). Where we somehow manage to get Jye Bolton back. I don't want anyone else, I just want Jye. SULK.
• Nab Cup premiers.

And then the season starts.

And we smash every team including Carlton who win the wooden spoon at the end. Serves Mick Malthouse right for LYING to us and then trying to steal our players. Not gonna happen, Mick. 

BUCKS' PACKING LIST

Off to Sydney today (with a slight detour - RIP JMac, love you and miss you always xoxo) to get ready and pumped for Friday night's match.

I snuck into Bucks' house yesterday (well, not really "snuck" because me and Bucks are awfully close and have coffee on Sunday mornings) and managed to get hold of his packing list.

5 x underwear, just in case
4 x pink underwear, just in case Daisy forgets (which he usually does)
3 x painkillers for Chris Dawes (again, just in case)
1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo
1 x copy of "how to kick goals for dummies" just in case the forwards forget
1 x cake
6 x donkeys (as Travis doesn't have room in his suitcase)
5 x hair gel in case Sharrod forgets
9 x shots of caffeine to energise the group at half time especially Faz
1 x llama (for company)
1 x pair of lucky socks
1 x iPod (containing that epic TSwifty song WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHERRRR LIKE EVERRRR and also some Biebz too)
1 x laptop and that USB thingy that contains the interwebz just in case hotel doesn't supply wi-fi (need to download the latest Glee epiosde tomorrow)
1 x present for John Longmire (special home-grown mushrooms that were found randomly on the nature strip)
22 x tickets to see Madagascar 3 on Friday night, to be given to the whole Sydney team
1 x tub of ice-cream in case Faz gets hungry
1 x special head gear for Darren Jolly because there'll be twice the amount of Reids on the ground and twice the amount of chances to have Reid's knee in Jolly's head (the joke never gets old, okay, omg)
1 x Cameron Wood just so Travis has someone to cuddle at night
1 x SLR camera for Harry O

And yeah.
We're gonna win, we're gonna beat the Swannies and then we'll smash Hawks back to Tasmania, yeah baby!

THE RISE OF NINE UPDATE

WHAT WHAT THEY ARE JUMPING AROUND A LOT.

First, Six had the first person, and then John, so that's okay. And now it's Marina. wHY omg whyy. Stop switching the first person narative around it's putrid ugh

THE RISE OF NINE UPDATE

Oh yay, Nine just basically called John an asshole.
I AGREE.
John, I love Sam as much as the next guy, but come on, facing the Mogadorians just to get him back is like a death trap. Nine is right. Stop being an asshole.

THE RISE OF NINE UPDATE

Omg, Number Nine is the best okay.
I ship him with... yes, you guessed it, ME.

THE RISE OF NINE UPDATE

Er, is this Number Eight guy magical or something?
Can he predict the future?
Why is he so brave omg surely the Mogadorians have tracked him down by now, surely?

THE RISE OF NINE UPDATE

I'm reading the Rise of Nine and I will be blogging about it here.

Some thoughts on the first few pages:

• Six now looks like the actor who plays her: with blonde hair
• John had a vision about Sam, idk if it's true or not, and idk how i feel about it
• Six & co are in India, and they jumped in a taxi who is a totally crazy driver 
• oh and Six' name is Veronica
• and yep

BUCKS' TO DO LIST

We lost on Friday night, but the pussycats lost too so that's good, right? I think? I mean, I hope Freo or Adelaide can beat the Hawks because otherwise...

Anyway.

We are playing Eagles/North next week.

Here is a list of things that Bucks need to do before then (my spies stole into Bucks' office and found this list on a word document on the desktop, I'm not making it up):

• Inject more caffeine into Alex Fasolo's ice-cream
• Burn all the tapes at the MRP Head Office
• Eat cake.
• Wrap Jolly in some ice if he even mentions soreness or if you see him limping
• Teach Daisy how to comb his hair
• Cancel one training session and have "Teach Daisy the basics of football" instead
• Get Travis to teach Dawes how to kick bags of goals
• Take Faz out for coffee
• Skype session with his spies in Perth later tonight
• Book an appointment at Madd Hair
• Search up google images for pictures of George Clooney
• Grab one of Travis' hairs and attempt to clone the DNA
• Also grab one of Jolly's hairs, also for cloning
• Quietly nick one of Sharrod's hairs, not for cloning, but just because his hair is so lovely
• Order several copies of 'How to kick goals for Dummies' - for everyone except Travis and Krak
• Send a letter to John Worsfold to reach him by Friday
• Put several scoops of anthrax in the aforementioned letter
• Also send a letter with anthrax to Brad Scott, just for funsies
• Eat more cake
• Give a piece of cake to Faz
• Eat the rest of the cake

And yeah.

Busy week for Nathan Buckley.

I swear I didn't make any of this up omg how could I possibly do that? Jaysus.

WINNING.

WE WON.
MY LISTS WORKED BECAUSE WE BEAT ESSENDON YEAH.
Let's just ignore the fact that Essendon are a dud team and that we played alright-ish, let's ignore it okay.

Now, because we only played alright-ish, I don't think that's good enough to beat the Hawks. Or maybe it is? idk idk maybe Hawks will think it's so easy that they don't even bother showing up. Maybe...

Time for another list:
1 x Leigh Brown (we need a second ruck okay, Maxy*/Goldsack/Elliott will just not do)
1 x Chris Dawes (I know, I know, he's not great, but if Leigh Brown isn't available...)
50 x donkeys for Travis Cloke (as a thank-you gift for finding some form)
9 x spiked urine samples for Buddy Franklin. (the weed didn't work so let's get crafty)
22 x packets of prescription drugs to go in the lockers of any Hawks who will play on Friday. (got this handy little trick off Winners & Losers, teehee)
1 x holiday for Alastair Clarkson. A nice relaxing cruise, with lovely soft padding on the walls.
1 x quick-fix ankle treatment for Tyson Goldsack.
10 x ice-creams for Alex Fasolo.
1 x slab of beer for Dane Swan (to be drunk after we win the Grand Final, and will be used as a dangling carrot to make Swanny play extra better)
3 x hair gel for Sharrod Wellingham.
8 x pink underwear for Daisy Thomas.
1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo.
1 x Jarryd Blair.
22 x tickets to see the Kath & Kim movie on Friday night for all Hawks listed in the team on Thursday night.
1 x pair of fluoro green boots for Chris Dawes. (Well, they worked for Travis, right?)

And yeah, that's all for now.
Enjoy!

*Maxy was good in the ruck, but it was a little rough for him and the poor thing nearly got injured. We have to minimise all injuries, yep.

Let's make another list. I'm bored and here to help out Nathan Buckley.

8 x cakes for Alex Fasolo (with several scoops of ice-cream)
1 x new house for Sharrod Wellingham (he can move in with anyone that he likes, just as long as they don't do drugs)
32 x shots of painkiller for Sharrod Wellingham's finger. (that's how you get over an injury, right? RIGHT?)
1 x Andrew Krakouer.
1 x Darren Jolly.
1 x premiership medal for Chris Tarrant. (whether it's delivered to him now or in 6 weeks, doesn't matter, but he deserves one)
2 x hair gel for Daisy Thomas.
1 x pen for Travis Cloke
1 x 'Learning How to Sign Your Name For Dummies' book for Travis Cloke
15 x 'Learn how to run through the midfield and kick goals for Dummies' books for basically everyone (except maybe Alex Fasolo and people with tattoos and Pendles and Benny J)
1 x brain for Chris Dawes. (yep okay, this is slightly mean, I get it, shut up... but in an article in the newspaper today, apparently Dawes said, "I was only a bit off with my marking against North" A BIT? JUST A BIT? IT HIT YOUR CHEST AND BOUNCED OFF... A BIT?)
2 x puppies for Alex Fasolo.
67 x donkeys for Travis Cloke. (nope, he STILL doesn't have enough donkeys)
1 x Leigh Brown (or SOMEONE, I don't know, but the forwards structure is kind of woeful and it has been basically all year, shut up, you'd think having two big forwards would be a plus but nope, we somehow manage to make it into a liability)
2 x Josh Thomas (the comedian and the football player- North got a rev-up by Hughesy, can't we have a comedian rev us up? CAN'T WE?)
1 x bucket of weed for Buddy Franklin.
1 x holiday for the following people: Daniel Kerr, that Priddis guy, Nic Nat, and Dean Cox.
5 x Alex Fasolo (he makes kicking 50-metre goals look easy, okay, we need more of this, MOREEEE)
1 x Jye Bolton.
1 x 'How to Ruck for Dummies' book for Cameron Wood (I get that last night was a little bit hard for poor Woody, but let's be honest, when has Woody ever been really excellent?)

And yeah.
Hopefully this list makes it to Bucks.

Well, well, well.
Here we are again. Another week, another putrid loss.

Obviously, my list from last week either didn't work or didn't make it to Nathan Buckley. I'm thinking the latter because that was a pretty damn good list.

So, because lists don't work, time for a different approach. Here is a eulogy:

There once was a boy named Alex Fasolo.
He was a mischievous little kid, always annoying his older brother and sister, and stealing their food.
Alex ate and ate and ate, spending all his teenage years eating.
His bum was the biggest in his town, nearly the biggest in the world.
"I wanna be Beyonce!" little Alex squealed, grabbing a microphone and singing.
Unfortunately, his bum was a little too big, so he settled for being a footballer.

Alex's football career was all highs. Besides one Grand Final loss, he had 18 premiership medals, a couple of Brownlows, and a banana flavoured lollipop.
He also met a wonderful girl who he immediately fell in love with.
Her name was Laura.
They had 2 children together, named Jye and Mellifluous, and lived in a big mansion on a hill.
One day, when Laura was teaching Mellifluous how to ride a dinosaur, she was struck by lightning.
Alex was struck by heart-wrenching sobs and took his two children and left the country.

For days and weeks and months, Alex was in a state of depression. It took everything Jye and Mellifluous had to keep the family alive. Mellifluous went out hunting and Jye stayed at home and opened his own laundromat.
Then, one day, there was a knock on the door.
It was Delta Goodrem.
Alex immediately forgot about Laura, and married Delta straight away.
They have four children together, named Zane, Paul, Bree and Diego.
Alex and Delta and their six children moved to the moon, where houses were being built and an amusement park.
They had fun for several years, eating lots of cheese and riding the moon go-karts.
Then, tragically, the vampire roller coaster broke down with Delta trapped inside. They were able to fix this quickly, but Delta went mad from the vampires and died.

Alex was deeply hurt and vowed never to see a vampire in his life or he would kick their face in.
The next day, they moved back to Earth and settled down in Forks Washington.
He met a nice bloke named Edward who was covered in glitter.
They hit it off right away and adopted a spider monkey together. They named it George.
Alex, Edward, the six children and George were very happy.
Until George brought home a girlfriend, a rogue monkey that he'd met at the local monkeys fair. George's girlfriend killed Alex's whole family including George, and the only thing that remained in that little cottage in Forks was a banana flavoured lollipop.

The end.

Getting flogged by North has taught us a lesson.

We need more sleeve tattoos.

And more Swanny's and a stack of Beamsy's. Quick, someone get a pen and paper so I can write down this order.
1 x hair gel for Daisy Thomas.
57 x hair gel for Sharrod Wellingham.
8 x mud cakes for Alex Fasolo (with an extra four scoops of ice-cream)
3 x packets of glue for Chris Dawes. (to go on his hands, of course, why else?)
22 x me, for each of the players. 
1 x nail clippers, for Daisy Thomas. (heh)
21 x players who can actually kick properly to people who are tall but not that tall, for Travis Cloke.
1 x Ben Johnson, just because of reasons.
1 x Krakouer, also because of reasons.
1 x prying rod, to pry Reid's knee out of Jolly's head. (omg, the joke never gets old, okay, shut up)
1 x Josh Thomas, again, because of reasons.
1 x Jye Bolton.
3 x pairs of pink underwear, for Daisy Thomas.

EDIT: I forgot to add some things.

1 x souvenir Fremantle jumper for Chris Tarrant, just to remind him of WHY we sent him over there, and WHY we got him back.
1 x number 3 Collingwood jumper, for Nathan Brown to give his brother.
1 x holiday booked in September for the following people: the whole Hawthorn team, Chris Judd, Brad Scott, and of course Jimmy Bartel.
1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo. (idk, I just imagined Faz with a puppy, and my brain exploded with cuteness)
1 x digital SLR camera, for Harry O'Brien. (y'know, for Weekly Steele Photos, of course)
1 x proper manager for Travis Cloke.
41 x donkeys for Travis Cloke. (because you can never have enough in your kitchen, trust me)
1 x slab of beer for Dane Swan. (WHO PUT THIS ON THE LIST, OMG GO AWAY, SWANNY, STOP STEALING THE PEN)
1 x packet of bright pink berries for Stephen Milne. (delivered to him with a big pink bow and frilly white lace around it)
1 x razor for Brent Macaffer.

And yeah.
Someone send this list to Nathan Buckley, thanks.

ADVENTUROUS ADVENTURES ON THE BUS

So, basically, this guy got on (with black skin & a black jacket - all information is relevant to the story okay) & forgot to touch on. So the bus driver said "Hey you, Mr Black, could you touch on" so the guy touched on, and that was that.
Anyway, when the bus got to his stop, the guy had a full-on argument with the driver because he thought the driver was referring to his skin colour, not jacket. The guy was like yelling and saying the driver needed to be more polite, and the driver just kept reverting the conversation back to how the guy would've fare evaded if he hadn't said anything. Because the driver hadn't meant to be racist or anything, he was referring to the guy's clothes.
I was sitting there the whole time with my hand in my mouth trying not to laugh. It was pretty funny, okay, I just wanted to share.

Sorry for not blagging much, I'm sure you've all missed me. I've been very busy with Tumblr uni and thinking about what will happen in Season 4 of Glee life in general so yeah.

Today was a good day, I only had two lectures. One was Analytical which was alright, the other was Biotech, where we got to drink champagne (no really, we were reading a case study on champagne corks and the lecturer was like, "What is this study missing?" and we all did our best impersonations of Mr Blank Face (I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I do a pretty good impersonation) and the lecturer was like, "Exhibits!" and pulled out a champagne bottle, popped the cork and we all danced around and sang Red Solo Cup. It was fun).

Anyway, on the way home, I dropped off my library book (which I had read a bajillion times because it was so awesome... it was called Team Human for those playing at home) and after borrowing Catching Fire (because I've only read it once), I went to take a squiz at the local bookshop to see if they had the book I desperately want to read (Land of Stories by Chris Colfer, if you are still playing at home).
And guess what?
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THEY DID.
It was exciting. I couldn't buy it though, because I didn't take any money with me to uni that day, heh. :P
But I will go back and get it, okay. Chris Colfer deserves my money. Not that he'll get much of it with all the publishers and bookshop and other people along the way but WHATEVER.
Bye.

MY SAILING ADVENTURE

I went to Queensland for two weeks, if you didn't know, but of course you did because y'all missed me so much.
Anyway, first we spent a week in Airlie Beach (which is near the Whitsundays) and we went for walks and were amazed at how sunny and blue and cloudless the sky was.
And there was a Cold Rock and a Macca's near our hotel, but I managed to survive without stepping foot in either of them so yeah. :P
I did go to Subway for a meatball sub and ate a burger at some cafe which had free wi-fi but WHATEVER. Shut up.

Also, we watched the State of Origin at some pub, and I barely understood the rules and had to restrain myself from yelling "HOLDING THE BALLLL!!!11!!!" but yeah. Queensland won, which was good because we were in Queensland and my aunt was with us and she lives in Queensland so yeah. Also there were quite a lot of people cheering for NSW at the pub we were in, but I think that was just because NSW supporters would be rare in Queensland so those few NSW people had to scream extra loud.
Sport wasn't all good though, Pies lost to Carlton, which sucks monkey nuts ughhhh why no jfc i hate life blah.

And we went on a boat trip to see the Great Barrier Reef (or some part of it, idk whatever).
It was pretty cool, I went on a glass bottom boat and stuff to see the coral and other stuffs, and my parents and my aunt went snorkelling but I didn't because I suck at swimming and probably would've drowned.
Also, the boat trip on the way back was scary rough, but I managed not to vomit by eating ice and sitting down and not getting up to go to the toilet. And then, after all the scary rough waves and several people vomiting or close to it, it got a little calmer so they brought out some cake and I had several pieces of that  because you can never have enough cake even when you've just felt (slightly) queasy.

Then, because we couldn't get enough of scary rough seas or maybe because we're slightly insane, we went on a yacht/catamaran/boat to sail around the Whitsundays.
There was no TV on the boat which intensified my TV withdrawals and no TV and no interwebz makes Laura something something.
We went to Nara Inlet for the first two nights, and went on a walk and stuff. (From what I remember, it was sunny for the start of the boat trip, and then it became rainy around the middle of the week and horrible grey skies and then at the end, it became sunny again.)
After Nara Inlet, we went to Cid Harbour, and then sailed (no motoring, just the sail) to Butterfly Bay. Although we sailed most of the way, we motored at the end when it was scary rough and really scary and did I mention it was scary?
Then, after Butterfly Bay, it was back to Cid Harbour for some drastically horrible rain and grey sky. We still managed to go for a walk, so we put on our yellow raincoats and did a bushwalk and had to jump over several streams and raging rivers and we were all wet and soaked but it was kind of fun.
Then we went to Whitehaven Beach, because it's a famous beach so we had to go there. And we sat on the beach eating cheese and biscuits and the adults had champagne and I had Fanta, and then it rained and it was all misty and stuff. And the sky was 50 shades of grey. Or maybe just one shade of grey. I should write a book, omg.
Then we went to Hamilton Island (with a detour to Chalky's Island for snorkelling except, again, I didn't snorkel because of drowning and sucking at swimming, you know, the usual).
We managed to find a pub at Hamilton Island, which was awesome because the mighty Pies were playing against the sucky pussycats. And it turned out fabulously because the Pies beat the hopeless pussycats and we went to the top of the ladder which was awesome even if it was only for a few hours.

Also, I got to drive the boat for a bit, just for half an hour or something. It was pretty difficult, okay, or maybe I'm just stupid. I should add it to my learner's permit logbook. And for the wet/dry option, I'll put "wet, real wet". ...I watch too much Glee, shut up.

Anyway, overall, it was a pretty awesome holiday. I guess it was worth missing an episode of New Girl, two episodes of Hamish and Andy, three episodes of the Glee Project, and the episode of Winners and Losers that was filmed at Monash. ...Sigh.

But it is nice to be back in civilisation after that boat trip, even if it is a little cold and not being able to go outside for fear of hypothermia.

STUFF

I'm going to Queensland tomorrow so obviously I won't be blagging much (not that I blag much anyway but you know whatever).

But yes, Pies beat Freo yesterday, so we remain on top of the ladder, where we belong. We may as well make ourselves at home there, you know, because we're awesome and good and everything. Also, I want that premiership cup so badly, if we miss out this year, I'm going all Lima Heights Adjacent on y'all.

And yeah.
I saw the last bit of the Pies/Freo game (just the last quarter as I was elsewhere). I saw Painey steal Daisy's goal (but they were all smiles afterwards), Mr Number-48-who-isn't-Jye-Bolton (Caolan Mooney) had two goal assists, and then I saw some other highlights on the Collingwood website e.g. where Fasolo does an AMAZING tackle and Painey gets the goal wheeeeeee~.
Also when Mr Number-48-who-isn't-Jye-Bolton got doused in powerade, I saw that online, it looked FUN. :P

THE SHORT SECOND LIFE OF BREE TANNER

...is what I'm reading right now.

And I'm up to page 26 but I just thought I'd make a few comments.

So, basically, what I know is that Victoria has created a whole army of newborns just to kill one person: Bella Swan. (Oh and to get revenge on Edward and co, for killing her mating partner/boyfriend/person who liked to sniff her hair.)

And that's it.

The funny thing is, Victoria hasn't even met these newborns, the newborns don't know her name, they think of her as her.

They know Riley, they've met Riley, Riley is a sensible vampire and is in charge of some of the newborns.

So, did Victoria just make this huge army of vampires just to defeat Bella and co? 

Or are there other people?
Maybe Victoria has so many enemies and she wants to get back at them all. Maybe people have blackmailed her or ran over her dog. Maybe she's had a multitude of lovers in the past and they've all been killed. Maybe she wants another boyfriend and is making a series of newborns to choose from (which doesn't explain Bree's presence, maybe Victoria is bisexual?). Maybe Victoria wants to rule the world and can only do so with a huge army worshipping her and bringing her cocktails. Maybe...

Maybe I should continue reading the book and the answer could lie in there.

Bye.

P.S. Have a picture of Daisy's butt. Enjoy!

You know you love it.

TOP OF THE LADDER, YO.

The cream rises to the top.

Back where we belong.
I get that West Coast and Adelaide haven't played yet and would probably be above us, but STILL. For one whole week, I get to go around saying, "Ain't no skim milk baby, we're the cream that rises to the top". Because we are. We're on TOP of the world.

And we did it with half a team.
Pendles, Daisy, Swanny, Lukey Ball, Heath Shaw, Krak, Macaffer, Didak, Tarrant, Nathan J Brown THE LIST IS ENDLESS have all been injured for a certain amount of games and we've still managed 8 wins in a row.

That's pure skill.

ANOTHER ALEX FASOLO APPRECIATION POST

It's the wonderful Alex Fasolo's birthday today and because you all enjoyed yesterday's post so much (admit it, you totally did), here's another one.

(Disclaimer: I hope Fasolo himself never ever reads my blog, he'd get a restraining order for sure)

Alex Fasolo after kicking his first goal in a finals match and is about to hug his mentor/One Direction member to celebrate.

Alex Fasolo chucking a powerade bottle at the new kid, because chucking powerade is kind of old school.

Fasolo, hanging out with his ol' buddy Chewbacca. You may think he is dressed as Hans Solo, but he's not because that's copyright. But Faz is just about to launch into singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town so all is good.

Hope you enjoyed the second edition of Alex Fasolo Appreciation Post. Stay tuned for the next one and the one after that and the one after that, etc etc etc.

ALEX FASOLO APPRECIATION POST

Guess who's birthday is tomorrow???
ALEX.
FASOLO.

Prepare for pictures and gifs and random awesomeness of the wonderful Faz.

Fasolo seeing me in the crowd even though I wasn't there but whatever.

After just kicking a goal, Fasolo acknowledges his lovely biceps and launches into singing I'm Sexy and I Know It.

Alex and Jye have a little cuddle after Faz slots a goal in the NAB Cup against Sydney. This was not the only cuddle they had that night, I'm sure they got it on in bed afterwards.

Fasolo hugs the guy wearing his future number.

Fasolo looks for someone to kick to, except they are all admiring Faz' mad cool boots.

Alex Fasolo sings I'm Sexy and I Know It one more time because it is completely true and everyone knows it.

I hope you all enjoyed this, stay tuned for next time: when I make more blog posts on Alex Fasolo.

On the way to the top..

Six wins in a row to the mighty Pies, and we managed a win over a very in-form team.

Remember my one-off "Collingwood will make the grand final" post? Yeah well, this is another one of those.
We beat Adelaide fairly convincingly.
I didn't watch it, but we had most of our players out... Lukey Ball, Swanny, Reidy, Nathan Brown, Taz, Krakouer, and probably heaps more. Plus Keeffe went down during the match. And yet, we STILL won. That's pretty good, amirite?
I am right.

Anyhoo, we've got the Suns, Demons and then a bye. Plus West Coast after that, but it's at the MCG so shouldn't be too hard. And then Freo, also at the MCG, piece of cake.
Then it's Carlton, pussycats, and Hawks soooo... :/

The teams are all pretty even at the moment, so our draw isn't that hard. The only real in-form teams, at the moment, are Essendon (we beat them, and play them again in the last "dead rubber" round), Adelaide (we beat them and won't play them again till finals), West Coast (injuries), St Kilda (we only play them once), Richmond (only play once), Sydney (only play once), etc etc.
And with Hawks and pussycats and Carlton, yes they are hard. But those teams are going through their own rough patch at the moment, they aren't coasting through, so they are battling just as much as us.

It will be interesting to see who comes out on top.
I think Richmond* or Collingwood, both have seemed to come good in recent weeks. Maybe Essendon, too. Cats/Hawks/Carlton will be up there too, they are strong teams and will no doubt finish the season strongly.

EDIT: I saw the Avengers yesterday. It was AWESOME. Chris Evans is my new future husband, although he won't replace Chandler and taco-crazy Oliver but whatever.

*I have a slight soft spot for the Tigers. If Pies don't win the flag, I'd be happy if it was the Tigers. I probably wouldn't be happy if Tigers won the flag by beating Pies in the Grand Final, but whatever.

This new blogging system is weird, no wonder I don't come on here much.

SKILLZ

 So, last night, the mighty Pies played the Doggies, and I made some gifs of the two most epic moments.

My gif-making skillz are terrible, okay.
You can't really see which one is Ben Sinclair, but he's the one who kicks the ball sideways to Ben Reid.. GOAL ASSIST OF THE YEAR.
Sinclair has mad skillz. Give the kid a car.
Seriously though.
They need a prize for awesome goal assists. I have no idea how Sinclair could've pinpointing this sideways kick straight-ish to Reidy, but HE DID. It's amazing. Absolutely amazing.

And then, the other epic moment was my gorgeous Alex Fasolo, ducking and weaving and kicking an awesome goal because he's awesome and all that. <3

And that's all folks. Enjoy my awesome gifs and feel good that you can make better ones than me.

Random update

Ever since I posted that Goddess review, people have been finding my blog by searching "ronan keating tattoos".
LAUGHING SO HARD OMG.
Halp.

MY ONE-OFF "COLLINGWOOD WILL MAKE THE GRAND FINAL" POST

Yeah, I said it.
They will.
Trust me.

We started off 2010 pretty shit, nearly losing to the Dees in Round 2, unable to kick straight against St Kilda in Round 3, losing to the pussycats in Round 7, and the Hawks in Round 22.
And a few injuries won't hurt us.
Lukey Ball is really valuable to the team, I love him just as much as the next guy. But Jarryd Blair could have the same role, right? We've got young midfielders coming out of our ears, all they need is a little confidence and the reins to really 'get in there'.

As for the other injury, Taz, who needs him*? How many premierships has he won us? Nathan J Brown on the other hand...

And yeah, Carlton are belting teams at the moment. So what? We belted the crap out of teams at the start of 2011, and we were so burnt out by the end of the season that we nearly lost to Brisbane, West Coast (semi final), and Hawks (prelim), and we did lose to the pussycats TWICE.

So, when October rolls around, we will have seen the following things (my photoshop skillz are pro):

My precious Alex Fasolo winning a cup

Carlton losing some sort of final (or better yet, not even making the finals hahahaha)

*Not a rhetorical question, the answer is me. :(

HUNGER GAMES

I finally saw it for the first time.
And it was awesome. :D

I loved Caesar, he was like a big Oompa Loompa and when he did his big smile... hee hee. :P
And Seneca and his beard, he was the best! But at the end, I don't get what happened when they locked him in the room with the berries... did he die from the berries? I thought he was hung, because maybe Katniss just made that up. Whatev.
If only Seneca could be in the next film. But it'd be a little weird, haha. I hope Katniss draws his mad cool beard on the dummy. ;)

Anyway, back to the important subject of the Hunger Games movie, I love Cato and Glimmer, and Marvel's creepy face, tee hee.
But it really bugged me throughout the movie.. I had been pronouncing "Cato" wrong, I'd been thinking it was CAT-owe and in the movie, they said CAY-toe. I think CAY-toe sounds a little better, to be honest.

And Peeniss! They had some good moments, but I loved when Rue was like, "What's going on between you two? Is there something there?" etc etc, HAHAHA. :P
But then when she died, it was really sad, but also really sweet, with the flowers and stuff. Poor Rue. ;_____; And the whole near-uprising in District 11, whoa! Wasn't expecting that.

And yeah.
The wolves scared me. They just jumped out and I was like, "ARRRGH". :/
Did I miss anything?
The flames were pretty cool, on the chariot ride. And when Katniss was spinning around at the interview with Caesar, all I could think of was in Catching Fire, when Katniss does the same thing and the whole dress bursts into flames and she turns into the mockingjay.

Umm yeah.
Good movie.
I suggest you go see it.
And if you've already seen it, SEE IT AGAIN.
Anyway, bye.
P.S. Freo beat the pussycats, yaaay! :P

The biggest reason why I love Jennifer Lawrence:

Okay, there are many reasons why I like Jennifer Lawrence*. She's cute, lovable, gorgeous, everything that I'm not, etc etc.

And I adore Katniss too, okay.
But one of the scenes in Hunger Games, when Peeta and Katniss were on the roof and book-Peeta was saying he wanted to die an honourable death and not be some pawn in the Capitol's stupid games, and book-Katniss was all d'urg and "um wtf are you on about Peeta your a crazy nut omg get out" or something. And it really peeved me off because I like Katniss yet in that scene, she was the biggest stuck-up bitch.

And I know we've only seen trailers, not the actual movie, but when Jennifer Lawrence is in that scene and movie-Peeta goes, "when I die, I want to just be me" and movie-Katniss goes, "I just can't afford to think like that". And I'm like, "SHE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A STUCK-UP BITCH!"
Either JLaw is a terrible actor and didn't play Katniss right in that scene, or they changed it so Katniss isn't so stuck-up.
Anyway, I love JLaw and I reckon she'll do a super job of Katniss. :D

*who I nicknamed JLaw, for obvious reasons. Josh Hutcherson is JHutch, and Liam Hemsworth is Sex God. :P

Things people have googled that have led them to my blog

I am copying Steph's blog post. Because I want to.

From the 'stats' section, it says what people google to reach my blog (like, the Search Keywords). Now, I doubt anyone reads my blog, let alone googles it, sooo this is going to be laugh.

• 'buttercup hunger games' - lol wow, makes sense. I think I have expressed my love for Buttercup, because he is an adorable little cat, who is ugly and has a mashed-in nose. Still. Beauty comes from the inside. :P
• 'palm tree tattoo' - well, this must've been my post where I had a picture of Brent Macaffer and his palm tree tattoo. Makes sense. Maybe Caff has set a trend for palm tree tattoos? YAY.
• 'manicure lmfao' - LOLWUT OMG. No idea. I just googled this, and I got this post. Wow ok. I posted a picture of Katy Perry's manicure and said that I wanted one. Coool.
• 'kanye west idiot' - was this post written just after he stole TSwifty's mike and did his infamous speech/shrug? I'm scared to google this myself, because I'll find many search items that aren't related to my blog. No offence, Kanye. :P
• 'mmmmmmmmmmmm' - I'm presuming this was from my MMMMMM BOP post. Wow, that must've been popular. wut.
• 'peeta drawings' - ok cool. It could be from anything. I do love Peeta, I have made that clear.
• 'the most awesome thing in the world for real' - ME.
  
• 'cedric diggory actor' - lolwut. I'm not the biggest Cedric Diggory fan, mainly because he's so arrogant. And as for the actor who plays him... well, not much of a fan either. :/
• 'josh hutcherson as a little kid' - wut. Again, you'll be majorly disappointed if you love JHutch and read my blog. I'm not a fan, never have been, never* will be.
• 'blonde actor' - Chord Overstreet? He's the love of my life, the one I'd do everything for. He plays Sam on Glee, and is so utterly gorgeous. <3
  

*Well, maybe in the future, idk. I want to see if he does a good job of playing Peeta. He better do a good job. Peeta was my favourite character and I hope that never changes.

GODDESS review

My mum got free tickets to see Goddess, a movie coming out in cinemas later this year.

It was really good.

Firstly, it stars the extremely hunky Ronan Keating (who is shirtless at some points, and at one stage we got to see his arse ^___^), Magda Szubanski, Corinne Grant, Natalie Tran, etc etc.

How could you say no to this? HOWWW?

It's about this housewife (Elspeth Dickens) whose husband (played by the wonderful Ronan Keating) is always on boat trips. So he gives his wife a webcam.
And she sets up the webcam in front of the kitchen sink, and puts on performances in front of it and then loads them on the interwebz.
E.g. "THIS IS MY KITCHEN SINK, THIS IS WHERE I COME AND THINK" it rhymes okay.

Anyway, it becomes a hit on le web, and so many people are tuned in to it, including the "mother's group" (consisting of Natalie Tran and Corinne Grant) who were mean to Elspeth and said that Elspeth wasn't very good at controlling her toddlers. Which was very cruel. Those toddlers were crazy insane, making a huge fuss in the supermarket and throwing tantrums. :/

And then, Magda Szubanski is looking for a goddess type woman, to promote the company's product or something. (No idea what the product was, or what the company were selling, this was a 'wtf' of the movie because we had no idea where they were making all their moniez and junk).
Magda was so good! I loved her character, she really used the marketing technique "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" in her lines (well, she didn't say that line, but it's what she implied), yet still stuffed her face with foods when she got the chance. :)

Anyway, Magda's assistant, Ralph (who was mad cool), found the video of Elspeth dancing at her kitchen sink, and showed it to Magda. And so Elspeth had to move away from Tassie, to go to Sydney.
(This meant getting a nanny for her toddlers, and hiding the webcam to watch over the nanny)

Oh and Rory! He was a guy busking on the street in Sydney. He was such a creep, and tried to get in Elspeth's pants. It was so funny though. I wish someone would follow me down the street, playing a song for me and trying to kiss me. Le sigh.

Anyway, it was a really good movie. Hope I haven't spoiled it too much, lol.
Totally recommend it.
Although, I don't know when it comes out in cinemas, I presume it will be later this year. You all should look out for it. It's called "Goddess". Laura Michelle Kelly is Elspeth. Her name is Laura. So she must be good. :P

And yeah.
Bye.

GLEE STUFF

So, I watched the Regionals episode of Glee yesterday.

The good parts:

• New Directions won! YIPPEE. They are going to Nationals! Look out, Jesse, the girl you have a crush on is getting married you're going down!
• Sam Evans. Always the best part of Glee episodes. ALWAYS. Especially in Season 3, because he's so different... more confident.
• Rory. He's so cute and adorable. When Mr Schue gave him peanut butter, my whole computer exploded with cuteness. BE CUTER, RORY, I DARE YOU.
• Sebastian and his little meerkat face.
• Finchel getting married. It's going to be hilarious. They'll be married, and then they'll go back to their separate houses and be like, "Yeah, see you tomorrow at school." lol, as if they could afford to buy their own house. I hope Jesse is invited to the wedding. I want to see his reaction. :P
• Sue having a baby. Aw. I really want to know who the father is. My guess is Ricky Martin. What a sexy baby it will be! Coming out of the womb with duende and passion in its non-existant pants. Mm.
• Eating lollipops to help with the morning sickness when you're preggerz. I'll note that one down for later. ;)
  

Bad parts:

• Karofsky. His "friends" at his new school painted F*G (it wasn't censored, but I'm censoring it here) on his locker, and wrote mean things on his Facebook. Poor thing. I'm not the biggest fan of Karofsky, but some kids can be so cruel. :(
• When some asshole truck driver smashed into Quinn's car. I bet it was Ryan Murphy. ;____; I don't want Quinn to die! I want her to win Nationals in Glee Club and in Cheerios, I want her to go to Yale, she deserves good things! Not being stuck in a wheelchair or something... no offence, Artie.

All in all, the episode was good. Except for the two bad parts. Which were bad and depressing and I really can't wait till April 10th to find out what happens.
jfc.

TINNNNNN ROOF... RUSTED!

So, I finished reading The Power Of Six. So, there'll be no more Power of Six updates. :P'
It was really good. Except John was a major asshole.
And SAMMY. He got stuck in the mountain and is probably dead... or something. Creys. Sam was my favourite. ;____;

My next order of business will be to watch I Am Number Four (the movie).
Whenever that is, I hope it's soon. I'm desperate to see the awesomeness that is Dianna Agron.

I've been watching Glee lately.
The Valentine's Day episode was good and bad.
My otp (Rory and Sugar) became canon, even if it was only for an episode or whatever. idk.
My other otp (Sam and Mercedes) decided not to start dating, which was very upsetting to see my Sammy so sad. But Mercedes broke up with Shane so that's good, I guess?
Blaine was awesome, and sang Loveshack and was just generally awesome.
Kurt was adorable.
Brittana kissed!
Samuel (a joint winner of Glee Project) made his debut. I was so glad they didn't make him into a homophobic Christian. jfc.

And yeah.
Regionals is next week!
I hope the New Directions win. :D
(But I love Sebastian, hahaha, so it will break my heart to see his little meerkat face so sad. HAHAHA.)

Bye.

THE POWER OF SIX update

"We're right near Sarah's house," John says, tongue dangling like Bernie Kosar, nose in the air smelling the berry lip balm coating Sarah's lips. He turns into a toddler and cries, "I WANNA GO, I WANNA SEE HER, WAHHH." Sam calms him down, and they cuddle in the middle of the forest. Sam suggests hot gay sex when they reach the safety of a motel somewhere. John whimpers and nods. They walk off, arms around each other, and find Six and Bernie Kosar. They all jump in their fancy SUV, and drive away, away to nowhere in particular, just away.

Oh sorry, that's just an exercept from the story.
I'm kidding. Only the first 7 words are from the story, the rest is what I made up.
I still think John is an asshole.
He can't go visit Sarah. The Mogadorians will attack, they'll be anticipating that. It'll put Sarah in danger, and I don't want Sarah to die. I love Sarah.

John and Sarah, in I Am Number Four.

The gorgeous Dianna Agron at some awards thing. :D

THE POWER OF SIX update

The story is split into two parts, with alternate chapters being from Number Seven's point of view (in the convent) and the other chapters being from John's point of view.

And I reckon Number Seven's life is very much like Hunger Games. Marina is like Katniss, and Ella (a little orphan girl) is like Rue. And they are a team. Against the baddies. ;)

And John's life is very much like Harry Potter. John is Harry, on the run from basically everyone, having to stay in hiding. Except Harry was never an asshole. So maybe I can't say that John is Harry, because that is mean. Harry is not an asshole. John is.
And Six is Hermione, the smart one. And Sam is Ron. And when they went back to Godric's Hollow even though it was dangerous as, that's like how Six, John and Sam are going back to Paradise. :P

So yeah.
I can relate this story to other stories I've read. Maybe Pittacus Lore has been copying other books or... whatever. :P

THE POWER OF SIX update

Oh right. Six and John are soulmates, destined for each other. Their parents were bffs and always joked that their children would fall in love. With each other. :/

I suppose I should be happy with this news? That Sarah doesn't have to stay in Paradise, waiting for her asshole boyfriend to come back.
Although, now the whole Six/Sam romance will seem weird. I love Sam, I really do, but wasn't he in love with Emily back in Paradise? Seriously? Does he really think he can start a romance with Six? What happens if he makes it home to Paradise and sees Emily? Awkward.

I still regret saying my otp was Sarah and John. He's still an asshole.

THE POWER OF SIX update

John is still an asshole.

THE POWER OF SIX update

Remember when I said John and Sarah are my otp and I hope they live happily ever after?
WELL, NOT ANYMORE.

Sarah is so lovely, she deserves better. Maybe Sam, or... Mark James? Yeah, I went there. :P
Seriously, I thought John loved her but now I'm not so sure. Couldn't John have run around the backyard? Then he wouldn't have needed to walk hand-in-hand with Six?
It may be nothing to them, but it means something to me. John is an asshole, and I don't care if he saves Sarah or Sam or anyone from a burning house, he's still an asshole.

THE POWER OF SIX update

So, your best friend has a crush on a girl, which is more obvious than my crush on Daisy Thomas. And you, in your total insomnia mood, decide to go for a walk with that girl holding hands.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

I mean, yes, John and Six were invisible on their walk but ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
Look John, you asshole. Just because you are a somewhat long distance from your gorgeous girlfriend, doesn't mean you have to go on night walks with another girl who you may or may not have a crush on.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

I don't mean to be a bitch, or maybe I do. Anyway John, I will relish the chapter where Sarah is interrogated by the police/Mogadorians/her mother, and I will celebrate if she tattles on you. Because you deserve it. You're an asshole, John, and you don't deserve to date someone like Dianna Agron. You don't even deserve someone's grandma.
Bye.

THE POWER OF SIX update

lol, wow. They found a stone in the Chest which allows you to transfer a superpower to someone else. But it only works for Lorien people.
So, John was able to turn invisible.

And then Sam grabs the stone, but nothing happens, so he's like, "Please! I'll only use it for the power of good. No girls' locker rooms."
OMG SAM YOU PERV. lol i love you Sammy. <3.

THE POWER OF SIX update

Marina's guardian is an asshole.

Henri cared SO MUCH about John's safety, about John surviving, about going back to Lorien even though his wife is probably dead. Henri still wanted to go back there.
And Henri worried about it all, to the point where he never slept, he just stayed up all night, trolling the interwebz, looking for signs of other Loric people.
THIS is how much he cared about John.

And then, the opposite occurs with Number Seven, Marina.
Her guardian does not care about going back to Lorien. At all. She only cares about staying in the convent, being a Sister, praying, and God. And maybe a tiny bit about Marina.

And Marina wants help with her Legacies (super powers), wants to know what's in the Chest (a box containing important secrets about Lorien or something), and wants to find the others to beat the Mogadorians as a team.
But her guardian wants nothing to do with this. Her guardian is a bitch, omg wtf. John was so lucky to have Henri. And even Six had a good guardian, but she died when Six was only 13. So Six has been on her own since then, poor thing. :(

jfc.

THE POWER OF SIX update

lol wow.
On the planet Lorien, there was a statue of Pittacus Lore.
Does that mean in Forks, there's a statue of Stephenie Meyer?

THE POWER OF SIX update

So, apparently, the police have labelled John and Henri "international terrorists" and the whole Paradise city is in uproar.

This is bad. Not for John, I'm sure he'll survive. It's bad for Sarah. She'll get interrogated, whether it's by the local police (not so bad) or Mogadorians (so bad that she could die).
If she releases crucial information to John's whereabouts, that's okay. John wouldn't mind, because if she was threatened to give that information, John would prefer she was alive rather than dead. So would I.

Anyway, I hope all is well. Apparently there's another book coming out in August 2012. Ugh. I can't wait that long! Now I'll have to read The Power Of Six as sloooooooooooow as I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan, draaaaaaaaaagging oooooooout eeeeeeeeeeeeeveryyyy wooooooooooooord as if theyyyyyyyy arrrrrrrrrrre veryyyyyy impooooooooooooooortant. :P

THE POWER OF SIX update

Marina's guardian is a bitch. Holy crap. Marina wants to keep moving, on the run, to get away from the possibility of Mogadorians, you know? And her guardian is like quoting religious things and wanting to stay in the convent.
What.
Um, okay then.
Good luck with that.

THE POWER OF SIX update

So, I'm reading The Power of Six (sequel to I Am Number Four).

It starts off with Number Seven, checking the interwebz and finding out that John and Henri Smith demolished a whole school on their own (LIES, it was the huge beasts!), killed 5 people (what?), and left nothing as evidence except piles of ash (dead Mogadorians).
And the police are like, "We will find Henri Smith and his son."
UM, LOL DUDES, Henri is like dead, you know. And John is on the run with Six and Sam, and has probably changed his name soooo yeah. Good luck with that. :P

Also, Number Seven (Marina) and her guardian came to Earth the same time as John, yet they were poor and homeless and ended up living in a convent. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Why did Henri have a shitload of moniez and junk, and Marina's guardian didn't? OMG WHY. :/

Anyhoo, I hope Sarah gets mentioned in this book. I hope Sarah and John live happily ever after and have a child more perfect than Beth. :D

I AM NUMBER FOUR update

This is the last I AM NUMBER FOUR update.
Because I finished the book.
It was really good.
But John, Six and Sam had to leave at the end, as they are running from the Mogadorians. So John had to leave Sarah in Paradise, wahhhh. My otp.

Anyway, stay tuned for the next blog posts: either I AM NUMBER FOUR (movie) updates or I AM NUMBER FOUR (sequel) updates. Whatever comes first. I haven't decided yet. /indecisive.

FANFIC #92834034

I chucked the ball hard, and Wadey caught it with his special blue and green gloves.
Then he threw it back and I caught it in my sequined gloved hands. Hee hee!
"Nice," Wadey said, nodding in approval at my catching.
"Thanks," I said, grinning, "You're good too."
We kept passing the ball back and forth, throwing it harder and harder at each other.
"Are you ready for the game tonight?" I asked.
"Yeah, you bet," Wadey replied, smiling.

Suddenly I heard a sound behind me.
I swivelled around, just as Wadey had thrown the ball. It hit me in the back. "Ow," I cried, rubbing my back and staring at the stranger in Wadey's backyard.
"Who are you?" Wadey asked, also staring at the stranger.
"Virat Kohli," the stranger said, very d'urggggingly, "D'urg."
"YOU CENTURY-MAKING BITCH!" I yelled, fiercely.
"D'urg?" Kohli said.
"Laura, we won anyway," Wadey told me quietly, "Don't worry."
I grabbed a pie from my back pocket and chucked it hard. The blueberry pie went straight into Kohli's face, turning his whole face blue.
"Bam!" I cried, happily, high-fiving Wadey. "My bff has taught me well."
THE END~.

Author's Note: Wadey is the new AUS wicket-keeper. He doesn't throw pies. But I do! :D

I AM NUMBER FOUR update

NOOO HENRI, NOOOO!
Excuse me.
Henri just died. ;____;

And now they (John, Sarah/Quinn, Six, Sam, and Mark) are in a hotel. Or something.
Bernie Kosar is alive, you guys! Yay!
And the romance between John and Sarah continue. Aw. So lovely, omg ahsjahswjcfhdjdfhffsoi. <3.

Anyhoo, I'm nearly finished the book. Which should I do first: watch the movie or read the next book? Tough decisions. :/

I AM NUMBER FOUR idea

Why don't they just find a big truck (like a garbage truck or a huge bulldozer) and when the Mogadorians come, they drive right over the top of them. Or something.

I mean, it worked for Ellie & co in Tomorrow When The War Began. They needed to get an injured Lee out of the town, so Ellie stole a huge truck and drove out. It was invincible to the enemies' bullets. They were safe.

I'm no rocket scientist (I study how chemicals react, not rockets) but this idea seems very flawless. Come on, John, I dare you to comment and explain why my idea wouldn't work. Quit fighting the evil aliens, and come on my blag. Do it. I dare you. Prove me wrong.

Seriously, you guys. In my last blag post, I said 'don't ever give up hope', but what if I have? What if I believe John and Sarah won't survi--- NO! Snap out of it, Laura! Think of Sarah's pretty face and how cute she is! Think of the perfect couple that John and Sarah are! Think! They will survive! They will triumph over the evil aliens! Hope!

I AM NUMBER FOUR update

John can talk to animals!

...or communicate with them, at least.
Which just makes his relationship with Sarah/Quinn* even more cuter and romantic. If they don't defeat the Mogadorians and live happily ever after, I will cry so much.
If John dies, and we never hear what happened to Sarah/Quinn, tears will pour down my face.

*Sarah/Quinn went to Colorado for a week with some cheerleaders (Santana, Brit, and Becky) and they helped build shelters and stuff for the animals. :). So, Sarah loves animals and John can communicate with them, so yeah. They make a good team.