COLLINGWOOD IS THE BEST. :P

Arizona: the place where all football-related injuries magically disappear.

Yay, it's a miracle! The rapture must have come and saved Jolly and Swanny from a life of pain, by booking them flights to Arizona mid-year.

It's like heaven! Only you get to come back to Australia (a.ka. the Real World) when you're completely healed.

This is brilliant! Hopefully they are back by July 3rd so that we can smash Hawthorn back to Tasmania the finals. And we will win! With two extra fit ruckman and an uninjured Brownlow medallist, we can beat those pussy cats and peck their eyes out with our epic beaking.

The other teams won't know what hit 'em. I mean, there they are, with their hybaric chambers and injury-prone ruckman, travelling around Australia playing football..... while we, side-by-side back-to-back premiers, relax and chill in Melbourne while our best players can afford to jet off to the Magical Gypsy Land Of The Healing Salt Lake with the pixies and eskimos using fairy dust to cure their injuries.

Go us. We, with our hundred thousand members, jetting off to holiday locations, for relaxing in a spring-fed pool and laying around in the sunshine, tanning our well-built muscly bodies.

Yay.