HAYDO.

I was watching Video Hits. And the host, Fuzzy, was interviewing Matt Lee (who is related to Brett Lee, Andy Lee, Ben Lee, etc).
And Fuzzy said that the guy next to her was Hayden, Video Hits' new host.
And Hayden looked like Haydo on Rove. And I love Haydo - how could any not like him?
So, anyhoo, I was all like, "OMG, is that Haydo??!"
ANDAND it was.
'Cause I googled him.
His real name is Hayden Guppy. But on Rove, they just call him Haydo. ^_^

He's so cool.

DID Y'KNOW I'VE BEEN STRUCK BY SEVEN TIMES?

Well, well, well.
Channel 10, I love you. Did I ever mention to you?
I suppose you are all wondering why I love Channel 10.
Well, I was watching the Simpsons just then.
And there was an ad. Which said that Rove was coming back on TV.
I almost died with joy. And I was like, "Wow, normally Rove doesn't return till March. The ads are on earlier."
BUT GUESS WHAT? ROVE IS COMING BACK ON THE 8TH FEBRUARY!! D:

OMG.
So exciting.
Rove is the FUNNIEST show EVER.
If you haven't seen it, you are srsly missing out.

Anyway, I had my first day of Year 12 today.
First, we found out which homeroom we were in.
I am happy 'cause I'm with a lot of my friends. D:
And then, I had Math Methods and straight after, Specialist Maths. Ugh. Whoever created the timetable should DIEEEEEE.
Anyhoo, at lunchtime, they gave the Year 12's free icy-poles. We were happy sucking on cold, cold icy-poles. COLD = FABULOUS.
Basically, anything below 40 degrees is good compared to the weather Melbourne has had.

Anywayz, after lunch, me and some friends had a free period. So we sat in the Common Room (privilege of Year 12's) and did our homework. Okay, I lied. We talked. About Twilight and other such important topics. Because, y'know, Twilight is SO important to our lives. (Shut up, it is).

And then, we went to Subway after school. idk why.
I filled my drink up with iceee. (The frozen water, not drugs)
I added some soft drink too, of course. ^_^

ICE = AWESOME.

Speaking of ice, I jumped in my pool after school.
I was watching the cricket while sweating. So I was like, "UGH. I'M GOING SOMEWHERE COLD~!"
Unfortunately, I couldn't get urgent flights to Antarctica so I settled for my pool instead.
THE END~!

P.S. My bffl isn't doing too well in the cricket. Australia needs 289 runs to win. And Ponting and Clarke went OUT. And now, I think MHuss and Little!Huss are playing. ANDAND Lil Marshy went out early. Same with Warner. WARNER = CUTE. He's so young. And people are all like, "Damn that Warner kid. He thinks he's so good because he nearly made a century in the Twenty20 match. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE LATELY, MORON?"
And I'm like, "Stuff you. The kid is 22. Which is young for an Australian cricketer, thank you very much. -throws pie-"
No one hurts my Warner.
When I become bffls with Mitchie, I will ALSO be dating Warner. :P
Because, y'know, Warner is ADORABLE. I'd do him ~anytime.

Anyway, see ya.
I'm booking flights for Antarctica and I'll be back when Mr. Sun turns his heat down. Anyone want to come with?

RAAAAAAAAAAAANT.

Okay. Prepare yourselves for a rant.
On TV Shows.

Okay, so SYTYCDA and The Biggest Loser are starting on Sunday on the same channel. I will be watching one of them. No prizes if you guess which one because it's obvious. Duh.

Anyhoo, The Biggest Loser is meant for people like... um, idk .... depressed fat people. Not happy fat people because Channel 10 wants the viewers* to watch fat people crying and whinging.
So anyway, how will they find the depressed fat people? Find some lonely people. People with no friends who eat Maccas because it makes them feel better. (Like me if my mum let me eat Maccas).
So, they get these lonely, cheeseburger people together and make them (read: force them with whips) lose weight.
And you'd think this year, Channel 10 would do the same thing.
Well, you're wrong.
I saw an ad for The Biggest Loser and it was saying the lonely, cheeseburger people were in couples this year (like on the Amazing Race how they compete in couples).
And I'm like, "WHAT? FAT PEOPLE ARE ONLY FAT BECAUSE THEY SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION. AND WHAT CAUSES DEPRESSION? LONELINESS. THAT IS ALL."
I have evidence of that for all you rebutting people.
The Comic Book Guy (from the Simpsons) is lonely. He has no girlfriend, no real friends (he has his superhero friends like Superman) and not popular. He is the ideal contestant on the Biggest Loser. (I would actually watch the Biggest Loser if the Comic Book Guy was on it, lmfao).
Anywayz, the Comic Book Guy said in one episode, "Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix." I mean, c'mon. How can the Comic Book Guy audition for The Biggest Loser when he isn't in a couple/relationship with anyone?
How can all those other lonely, cheeseburger people audition for the Biggest Loser???
Channel 10, I think you've made a serious mistake.
On the other hand, hopefully the Biggest Loser will get axed in the meantime.

That is all.

*Okay, there are no viewers of The Biggest Loser. Just bare with me for a minute, kk.

YES, THIS IS A RANT ON THE BOOK I'M READING.

I'm reading The Ballad Of Cauldron Bay at the moment.
Ugh, it's so frustrating.
Henni, the main character, is meant to be all responsible and understanding and stuff ('cause she's the oldest). But no one is meant to understand Henni. Not even Tara (WHO IS OLDER THAN HENNI!).
So, one of the adults (Sue) was like to Henni, "Tara is wanting to go home so maybe you should be ~nicer~ to her."
And I'm like, "Tara doesn't want to go home because of Henni. She wants to go ~somewhere~ with Stigg because she's a prick."
And all the kids, Danielle (Henni's lil sis), Zev (Henni's bffl) and the others, are all like, "Henni is a bossy boots. :P"
And Zev just ignores Henni AND HANGS AROUND WITH TARA!
Wait, whut?
I want Zev and Henni to be bffls so then, it might turn into ~loveeee~ relationship like Chris and Emily's from The Pact by Jodie Picoult.
Or it could just turn into a ~best friend forever and ever~ relationship like Courtney and Tim's from Loathing Lola.


I don't want Tara to be bffls with Zev because (quoted from Henni): "Tara is like those bitchy girls at school that I avoid."
Henni, me too. We are lyk twins. (Except she's tall and I'm not ;_;)
See? Me and Henni are so alike.


Similarities: We like reading, writing, being alone, being with Zev (I have never met Zev but he sounds cool, kk), having annoying sibling/s, and plenty more.

IDEAS, PEOPLE!

I'm looking for ideas to get to sleep tonight.
Okay, here's the problem: It's hot.
The solution: idk.

I had one idea. It was, like, cover my bed in ice-blocks. But that would get uncomfortable, yeah?
So, I need another idea.
^_^

WATCH OUT SMEYER....

Here comes Alex Duval.
I was in the Newsagent today and I read the Dolly magazine (which had a fierceeeee-looking KStew on the front ^_^).
Anyhoo, they had some new releases books. AND THE BOOK COVERS LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THE TWILIGHT SAGAS' COVERS!
I was like, "OMG, Twilightttt!!111!!"
And then I realised no, it wasn't Twilight. It was OTHER vampire books by Alex Duval.

Alex Duval has written 6 books in the series. The latest two (advertised in the Dolly magazine) were released December 2008.
So, basically, the first few books were released when Twilight was released, I think. About 2006. idk.

BRB going to library. X']

And yeah.
In other news, I'm in Melbourne and it's so HOT. Ugh.
Isn't Melbourne meant to be COLD?
I'm confused.

My older bro is in Japan. He left last night.
So yeah. While I'm dying of heat, he's freezing 'cause it is, like, 6 degrees in Japan at the moment. D:

NO SCHOOL 2DAYYY!

I'm at my mum's school ~helping~ her with stuff.
(When I say helping, I mean sitting on the computer >_>)
And I went on Myspace (as all teenagers do) and it was BLOCKED.
Epic fail.
And Deviantart is blocked for ~Adult Content~.
WHUT?
I mean, there is lots of adult content in Deviantart. Like, me and my Deviantart friends, we have been doing pictures of Dale Thomas and stuff like that. Because, y'know, Dale Thomas is so ~porn~.

Ugh.

DID Y'KNOW I'VE BEEN STRUCK BY SEVEN TIMES?

I was reading The Ballad of Cauldron Bay by Elizabeth Honey. And the lady who owned the shop was like, "Did y'know my son got struck by lightning twice?"
And I burst out laughing. Because it reminded me of The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. lmfao.

BEST QUOTES EVER:
Did I ever tell you I was struck by lightning seven times? Once when I was in the field, just tending to my cows.
Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times? Once when I was just sittin' in my truck just minding my own business.
Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times? Once when I was repairing a leak on the roof. Once I was just crossing the road to get the mail.

LMAO. So random for a film which is basically about Benjamin Button going 'round having sex with women. Especially Daisy. (They had a kid together. And I don't like the kid 'cause she was smokin' in the hospital T_T)

LOOOOOOOOOONG FANFIC.

Ahh.
Australia lost the cricket yesterdayyy. ;_;
Like, Mitchell Johnson went out for a duck. -sniffle-

~FANFIC (WHICH IS FICTION, OK? NOTHING IS REAL IN FANFIC WORLD)~
I feel sick.
Probably because I stayed up till midnight with my bffl, Mitchie. We were at a party. And someone came up to us and they were like, "HEY. D'URG. 'SUP, BRO?"
And I, fierceeeely, said, "Huh? GTFO." 'Cause I was protecting my bffl.
And he was like, "No. I'm ~JPDuminy~."
And I totally freaked. I was holding a cup of Fanta and I threw it in his face.

So, now I'm at home, sick and JPDuminy now hates me.
Okay, the last thing doesn't seem bad. 'Cause I hate him too. (Except when he is bowling 'cause he looks like an innocent, bald guy that wouldn't hurt a fly).

The phone rang. Ah. I just let the answering machine pick it up.
Beep.
"It's Mitchell. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Plz?"
I pick up.
"Yo," I say.
"How are you?" Mitchie asks, "You looked really fierceeee last night. Was it because the party had no pies?"
"Yes. My bffl knows me well."
"Ah. Wanna come over? Little!Huss is hereeeeee."
"OMFG, yes."
And I quickly got dressed, forgetting the fact that I was sick. WHUT?

I was at Mitchie's house about ten minutes after that phone call.
"Hi," I said, hugging my bffl.
"Hellooo," Mitchie said, hugging me back.
"Hello," Little!Huss said. Cute!D'urg.
We ate pies for lunch. Which seemed weird 'cause I hadn't eaten a pie in ages. They usually ended up in people's faces. D'urgg.
The doorbell rang.
"Who could that beee?" Mitchie said, confused.
I went to open the door, my heels of my red boots clacking against the floorboards.
Once the door was opened, I almost died.
"Oh, hai~!" JPDuminy said.
My mouth went dry. "Uh, hi."
"Are you going to let me in?" JP said, sweetly.
I stood there dumbfounded. "What?"
JP sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I ditched you a week ago. My girlfriend needed me."
"And?" I prompted.
"And I want to see you again," JP said, "Can I come in? I need to talk to Mitchell."
"So, you come here and try to make it up to me yet you want to talk to Mitchie? After you totally left me stranded in the desert because you had to pick up your gf?" my fierceeeeness ~rolled out.
"Um..."
"No, I'm not finished. You left me in the desert for DAYS. Nearly a week. Luckily Mitchie was smart and came and picked me up. I had no water because you stole my drink bottle. I only had your half-eaten sandwich filled with crap. Crap that wasn't good enough for you SO WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO ME??" I said, fierceeeely.
"Look, I'm sorry..."
"Just stop it. Go away." I nearly slammed the door when Mitchie appeared next to me.
"Oh, hey, JPDuminy~!" Mitchie exclaimed.
"Hi." Mitchie had opened the door a bit wider to let JP through.
Mitchie and JP went through to the lounge room. I just stood there, fierceeee as ever.

I could hear Little!Huss, Mitchie and JP talking happily in the lounge room. I couldn't go in there. Yes, that's right. I wouldn't.
"Laura?" I heard Mitchie call, "You can come in here if you want."
"No, I'm fine," I called back, my mouth still dry.

I had to take a walk. My legs were numb. And if I saw JPDuminy again, I'd feel the urge to throw something in his face. Just like last night.
God knows why I went to the desert with him last week. He looked all cute with his non-existant hat when he said, "Come for a rideee~! I need to find something in the desert."
I walked to the park over the road from Mitchie's house and sat on a bench.
"WHY, GOD, WHY?" I screamed, looked up into the sky.
"What up," someone said.
I whirled around. JPDuminy? WHUT?
"Dude, I'm sorry. I wanted to go to the desert because my friend told me there was a shop out there that sold stuff that my girlfriend would like. But I never found the shop and it turns out my friend was joking," JP explained.
"Uh, okay..." I said, "Why did you need to see Mitchie?"
"To tell him that his girlfriend is lovely and that I want to take her out to the desert to make it up to her," JP said.
"You mean Jessica? The karate girl?" I ask.
"WHUUUUT? Aren't you his girlfriend?" JP asked, confused.
"No, JP. No, I'm not. I'm his bffl."
"Ah. Wanna come for a riiiideee?" he asked.
"Suuuuuuuuuuuureeeee." I smiled and we jumped in his car.
And surprisingly enough, my bffl came too! ^_^
The End~!

SYTYCD

SYTYCDA is on Sunday!
Epic Win.
Hopefully there is a dancer called Laura. And HOPEFULLY, the TV Week blogger (who reminds me so much of Catherine Deveny, idk why) will blog about it.
Speaking of Catherine Deveny, I read her book thingy, Say When.
A slogan for Australia (as the Tubby Country) could be: Australia - I'll eat that if no one wants it.
That's my motto for life. ^_^

(Actually, I lied. My motto is: I'll eat that even if someone does want it.)
Yes, I am fat. And I don't give a damn. /rileyroseattitude

KATIE WATSON.

This is my picture of Katie Watson: chibi style.
She is wearing a blue top, a black mini-skirt, candy-striped stockings and black F-Me boots.
Idk what F-Me boots are. Oh well.

The candy-striped stockings aren't very good. Idk how to draw them.
Oh and the reason I uploaded my d'urgggingly cool picture to Blogger is because Deviantart is being a cow.

Some good Katie Watson quotes:
"Watson House of Wanton Delights, Katie speaking. How may I service you?"
I have no idea what "wanton delights" are but apparently, they'll scare the holy bejebus out of Katie's grandma.
"Like I said, no one I've cared about has ever died."
"Hold that freaking elevator or so help you God I will kill you!"
Katie's so fierceeee. ^_^
"And proceeds from the audition process will keep me from sobriety for the rest of the fortnight.... A lot of vodka a day keeps the motor skills away."
"And then there's my Dane ... just serve him up on a platter, 'cause damn, he's fine!"
"Watch as these rowdy, out-of-control teens stay out past six collecting money for blind elephants in Uganda, only on Real Teens."

And yeah.
Katie Watson is Courtney's second-best friend. Just do you know.
That is all.

HEATH. LEDGER.

I watched the Dark Knight last night. ^____^
It was brilliant.
Heath Ledger is a good actor. X']
D'urg.

/pointlessblogpost

FUN.

I totally found 45 & 47 Stella Street by Elizabeth Honey at the library.
And I was like, "OMG, I used to love that book!!111!"
I read the sequel, Fiddleback, too. But this was about 5 years ago. Back when I was 12.
Anyhoo, I found the third book in that series at the library todayyy!
So, I had to read the first book to remind myself of the characters. And then, I borrowed the third book 'cause I haven't read it yet. ^_^

And now, I just found out there is a FOURTH book in that series. Oh, damn, I am so behind.

Anywayz, I also got Ironbark by Barry Jonsberg at the library.
I read The Whole Business With Kiffo and the Pitbull and It's Not All About You, Calma.
They were hilarious. lmao.
I could relate to Calma. idk.

And yeah.
In Eden, I had a Billabong ice-cream (which was rainbow!) and it had a Heart Tick (given out by the Heart Foundation or something).
And I'm like, "OMG, that means that Billabong ice-creams are healthy!"
lmfao.

Yes, I am random.
Oh, I totally introduced a new character to zee Dale Thomas comics.
KATIEEEE WATSON.
I'll put it up on my DeviantArt soon-ish.
And people (like William Kostakis) can criticise it because it's so baaaaaaaad.
lmao.
I drew her with candy-striped stockings, black boots, and a blue top 'cause I don't know what kind of top she would wear. I fail.
And the hairrz is a kinda walnut-y colour. I think. I looked up "walnut hair colour" on Google Images and copied a hairstyle from there.
^_^

Well, I also typed in "dark ash hair colour" but idk.

Ah well.
I shall be back.

I'M BAAAAAAAAAACK.

GUESS WHO'S BACK, GUESS WHO'S BACK, GUESS WHO'S BACK, LAURA'S BACK, TELL A FRIEND.

Ahem.
If you didn't get the message, I'm back home. ^_^
I have interwebz and TV. Me happy.

Hai!
Anyone been watching tennis or cricket?
Little!Huss and Mitch Johnson are freaking awesome.
idk.

And yeah.
/pointless

I'm in Eden.
And it's raining.
Where's my ark, Noah?
Anyway, sorry for the lack-of-blog-posts.
I'll make it up to you on the 24th by spamming this blog/Twitter/idk.

I'M GOING TO VISIT MY ANCESTORS, ADAM AND EVE!

Y'know what?
I'm going to Eden. For two whole weeks. :P
Adam and Eve will, of course, be there. They live there. X']
And I promise not to eat any ~forbidden~ apples while I'm there.
ALSO: The last time we went to Eden, it flooded. lmfao. Can you see the irony in this?

God said to Noah, "There's going to be a floody, floody."
Rain started pouring - it started to get muddy, muddy.
Get the animals onto the arky, arky.

The song above was in the Simpsons. The Flanders family were singing it to Homer when he joined my religion of "Christian-who-sleeps-in-on-Sundays."

Anywayz, I'll sit there laughing if it rains in Eden. And I'll sing the song above.
Wow. I have good ideas.

Ah, good times.
Anyhoo, there will be non-existant-blog-posts on this blog for two weeks.
kk.

FANFIC #7

~FANFIC~
Laura and Buddy fierceeeely decided not to go for a walk; they'd just stay at home.
Mitchell Johnson was playing chess with Nathan Hauritz' wife who was wearing a ~gorgeous~ red dress.
"Checkmate!" said Mitchell.
"Is it game over?" Laura asked, "Cos we kinda decided to stay at home today. I can't go for a walk in case we see someone I hate. I've run out of pies."
"Oh, ;_; ," Mitchell said, upset, "I was hoping we could use my 2-for-1 offer at the coffee shop."
“Like, homagawd no way!" Laura jumped up and hugged him, "I can buy a pieeee!"

So they went to the coffee shop called D'URG. (LOL, I don't think there is an actual coffee shop called d'urg).
They just got a table of four because it was only Nathan Hauritz' wife who shall be Nameless because idk her name, Mitchell, Laura and Buddy.
The waiter came over. "What would youse lykk?"
Laura screwed up her nose fierceeeely. "YOUSE is not a word," she yelled.
The waiter sighed. "What would YOU lykkk?"
"That's better," Laura said, fierceeeely, "I shall have a cherry pie, Buddy wants a blueberry pie, Mitchell wants a cream pie, and ~Nameless~ wants a custard pie."
"And we have a 2-for-1 offer," Buddy said, just as fierceeee as Laura and handed over the token.
The waiter left. And after (how long have you been seventeen?) awhile, the pies came. The waiter who brought them over looked familiar.
"Whyyy, you look familiar!" Laura said, fierceeeely.
"I do?" he asked. D'urggg. Actually, not really d'urg; he sounded more... um, idk .... stupid/lame/prick/Omg-totally-a-loser.
"Yeah, you look like you were in a movie that I never watched because it was soooo bad," Laura said, with fierceeeeness.
Suddenly the waiter's face was covered in blueberries. "You're Zafron!" Buddy said, fierceeeely, "GTFO~!"
Nameless threw her pie at him too. "I can't eat my custard pie with ~dorkface~ here," she muttered, fierceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeely.
Mitchell just quietly ate his cream pie and acted unfierceeee while Laura chucked her cherry pie all over Zafron.
Suddenly Zafron was covered with blueberries, custard and cherries. He looked very colourful with blue, yellow, red and, of course, his orange skin (lmfao). Buddy, Laura and Nameless quickly left the coffee shop. Once they got outside, they high-fived each other fierceeeely.
"OMG, we totally owned him!" Laura yelled.
"LMAO~!" Buddy was lol-ing so much.
Mitchell came out (How long have you been seventeen?) awhile later.
The End~!

FANFICS.

Idk. I feel lyk making a blog post.
Read mah fanfics. (scroll down ^_^)
Fanfics = fierceeeeness and MJ and LSD (oops, I meant LCD which are mah initials).
Oh, it was really funny on the Simpsons when Marge was tested positive for drugs and then, later on, the people were like, "Oops, sorry, you didn't test positive at all." And Marge was all like, "The only drug I'm on is love. Love for my Son and Daughters."
lmfao.
X']

FANFIC #6

~FANFIC~
"Hey everyone," Laura said, waving to everyone as she entered the room.
Mitchell Johnson, his girlfriend and Nathan Hauritz were sitting in a circle. Among the circle, was a guy who looked fierceeee and a girl who looked ~gorgeous~ in a pretty red dress.
Laura sat on a chair next to her bffl, Mitchell. ^_^
"So, we are all here to discuss the event from yesterday, right?" the fierceeee-looking guy said, looking at each of us.
"Well, only me, my bffl and my second-cousin-twice-removed witnessed the scene," Laura said.
The fierceeee-looking guy nodded. "So, basically, Nathan, Mitchell and Laura were minding their own business when a South African walked past them. Laura threw a pie at him. Is that all?" the fierceee-looking guy clarified.
"Mmhmm," Nathan Hauritz murmured.
"Bring in the South African," said the fierceeee-looking guy said.
The door opened and Dean Geyer walked in. He sat on a chair as far away from Laura as he could.
"Dean Geyer, what did you do to make Laura throw a pie at you?" the fierceeee-looking guy asked.
"D'URGGG. I did nothing. I swear. She just hates me because I can't sing or act. She hates all Australian Idol people..."
"Except Brooke," I interrupted, fierceeeely.
"D'urggg," Dean said, terrified.
"Cut the d'urggging, dude," the fierceee-looking guy said, "Stop trying to make d'urg happen."
"Alright, alright," Dean said. D'urggg.
"So, you said you were on Australian Idol, eh?" the fierceee-looking guy said, as he grabbed a pie from the fridge next to him, "Y'know what I think of ex-Australian-Idol-contestants-who-are-try-hards?"
"Um, no. I don't," Dean said, d'urggging it up.
"Well, this is what I think..." The fierceee-looking guy shoved the pie into Dean Geyer's face.
Dean Geyer ran from the room.
Meanwhile, Laura high-fived the fierceeee-looking guy.
"Nice," she said, "We should make a team. What was your name?"
"Buddy," the fierceee guy said, "Buddy Franklin."
"We can be the BuddyLauraMitchellNathan Show!"Laura exclaimed, "Wait, unless Mitchell's girlfriend and the ~gorgeous~ girl over there wants to join. Do you?"
Mitchell's girlfriend shook her head. The ~gorgeous~ girl smiled. "I'd love to! I'm Nathan's wife, btw~!" she said, happily.
Laura looked momentarily pleased.
The End~!

Basically, it is just the BuddyLaura Show. Cos we're the fierceeee ones in the fanfics.
Mitchell and Nathan are just tag-along people. Well, Mitchell tags along because he's my bffl.
And as for Dale Thomas... well, he's in Bali/Maldives/whatever.
And then, the ~gorgeous~ girl is my way of saying, "It's alright that Nathan has a wife~ because I can't be angry at a cute little Nathan, right?"

And yeah. X']
I didn't seem fierceeee in Fanfic #6. idk.

STFU.

Dear Mr. Camera Man at the Cricket: You do not put Nathan Hauritz' WIFE on camera. My heart has been broken in two million pieces due to Dale Thomas, Mitchell Johnson and now, Nathan Hauritz. DO THEY HAVE TO HAVE GIRLFRIENDS/WIVES? WHYYY?
;_;
Now, excuse me. I'm going to sit over there now.

UH HUH.

"Kylee and I are holidaying in Bali," Dale's blog told me.
Ah, stfu.
Who'd want to go on a holiday with her? EWWW.

Anyway, I know what topic I'm doing for the Oral Presentation in English.
I know school doesn't start till the end of the month but still.
I'm doing Plastic Bags vs. Green Environmentally-Friendly Bags.
And I can be all like, "HOBOS HAVE LUGGAGE TOO, Y'KNOW!!!11!"
LOL, I got that one from Hughesy. lmfao.

My friend told me that she was looking at dips and she saw a dip that said, "Black Swan." So she was like, "That must be Jacob and Bella's child."
And then, I lol'd for, like, ten minutes or something. ^_^

I hope Australia win the cricket.
Mitchell Johnson will take 9 wickets. Because he is cool.
And he is mah bffl in the fanfics.
Oh and I was watching the cricket and the cameras were showing a girl in the audience. And the commentators (Tubby, lolol) were like, "That's Mitchell Johnson's girlfriend."
;_; So, does that mean Dale Thomas AND Mitchell Johnson are unavailable?
Well, I've always got mah Nathan Hauritz. D:

FANFIC #5

Y'know what? Idk what I should do for mah Oral Presentation thingy in English.
I fail.
In the meantime, here is a non-cricket fanfic. Well, sort of.

~FANFIC~
"D'URGGGG," said a guy sitting on a table next to Laura's in the restaurant.
"Oh, could that guy shut up?" whispered Laura, fierceeeely. She was having lunch with Dale Thomas, the sexylicious footballer.
"He's d'urgggging. He always does," Dale said.
"Ugh. It is chagrining me. CHAGRININGGG," Laura yelled. She was as fierceeee as ever.
"Calm down," Dale said, putting his arm around Laura. He knew how to relax and calm her. It was good having a boyfriend like Dale Thomas. ^_^
"All I wanted to do was d'urgggg," said the guy on the other table, very loudly. Although the guy was only talking to the other person on his table, he was EXTREMELY LOUD and the whole restaurant could hear him.
Finally, Dale and Laura's meals were served.
Laura started eating her salad, leaving the steak-and-mushroom pie for the end because it was so yummy.
Suddenly, the d'urgging guy stood up and accidentally knocked Dale's head.
"Ow," Dale squeaked.
The d'urgging guy looked at Dale. "Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe you shouldn't have sat right next to me," he said.
"WE WERE HERE FIRST!" Laura yelled, fierceeeely.
"Oooh.. The little girl is going to hurt me, eh? As if. You're a weakling," the guy said, d'urggingly.
Laura recognised the guy. It was Kyle Reimers, the guy who had been arrested for raping 2,300 girls in one night. "YOU FREAKING BITCH!" Laura yelled, picking up her steak-and-mushroom pie.
"WHAT?" Kyle said, laughing in a d'urgggy way, "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"YOU'RE A HOME-WRECKING-PRICK!" Laura yelled, fierceeeeness coming out her ears.
"D'URGGGG," said Kyle Reimers.
Laura chucked the pie in his face and stomped out of the restaurant in her sparkly red boots. Dale ran after her and high-fived her.
"Nice," Dale Thomas congratulated, "Very nice."
The End~!

FANFIC #4

~FANFIC~
Mitchell Johnson was lying in his hammock. The South Africans had gone somewhere - thank God! - so Mitchell was free to relax. After a good sleep in the hammock, Mitchell's mobile rang. It was probably his bffl. He answered it.
"Hello," he said.
"YO, MITCHIE! I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF YOU'D LYK TO COME TO BEACH WITH ME!" the person said.
Mitchell knew the voice. It was fierceeely nice. "Hey Laura. Yes, I will come."
So he got off his hammock and drove to the beach that Laura had told him to come to.
When he arrived, it wasn't just Laura who was there. Another guy was there too.
"MITCHELL, THIS IS MAH SECOND-COUSIN-TWICE-REMOVED!" said Laura, pointing to the guy beside her, "HIS NAME IS NATHAN HAURITZ. D:"
Nathan smiled at Mitchell. "Hello." D'urggggg in a very cute way.
Laura walked along the beach in her red stillettos. Mitchell just followed while Nathan was avidly chatting to Laura.
"...So as I was saying, I totally threw a pie in my brother's face. Idk why..." Laura said.
"What kind of pie?" Nathan asked, intrigued and d'urgged.
"It was a apple-and-raspberry pie this time," Laura commented.
Some people - adults and kids - were playing with a beach ball near us. One of the adults accidentally threw the beach ball in Laura's face.
Mitchell winced. He knew Laura well enough to know that you should NEVER EVER do that.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Laura yelled fierceeely to the guy who threw the beach ball.
The guy stepped back. "Uh..." He was scared of the fierceeeeness.
"YOU FACE-WRECKING-BITCH! I KNOW YOU! YOU'RE THAT HOST ON BIG BROTHER - KYLE SANDILANDS!" Laura yelled.
"Uh, yeah. That's me..." he said.
Laura looked around. Mitchell noticed she was looking for a pie. So Mitchell scanned the beach too. There were no pies but a woman nearby was about to cut a cake for her son.
"Laura, that woman has a cake!" Mitchell whispered to Laura.
"That shall be fine," Laura whispered back, "Thanks, Mitchie."
Laura grabbed the cake off the woman and threw it in Kyle's fat, ugly face.
Nathan yelled, "GO LAURA!" with lots of d'urggg.
And Mitchell just thought, "Nathan uses d'urgggg with style" and high-fived Laura.
The End~!

Yeah, I throw pies at South Africans (like Dean Geyer!) and cakes at pricks (like Kyle!).

ANOTHER FANFIC.

So, I read some of The Lab today.
It makes me laugh.
My favourite character is Jack because he kinda reminds me of Jack Heath (coincidentally, happens to be the author).
But I also like Kyntak because his name sounds so similar to Kynt. And Amazing-Race-lovers know that Kynt was on the Amazing Race with Vyxsin. And when they were eliminated, I bawled my eyes out. ;_;
And then, I added them on Myspace. WHUT?

And yeah.
I'm bored so here's another fanfic. This time it is from Mitchell's point of view.


~FANFIC~
Mitchell Johnson wandered the park alone at night. Unlike Laura, he didn't have fierceeeness; he was actually very shy. So, he was a bit worried about getting mugged in a park so late at night. But he knew he had to be here. The voices in his head told him to.
"WHO IS THAT?" a voice yelled.
Mitchell tensed. He stood still and didn't say a word.
"I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!" the voice yelled again.
The voice sounded fierceeee. It could be his bffl. "Um, it's me," Mitchell said, timidly.
"AHA! I KNEW IT!" the fierceeee voice said, excitedly.
Mitchell ran towards the sound. He hoped so much that it was his bffl. Someone to protect him in this dark, dark, dark park. LOL, RHYMING MUCH?
Anyway, Mitchell ran and ran. He thought the sound was in the direction of the playground. Suddenly, he reached the playground. There, on the slide, was Laura.
Mitchell smiled and walked over to the slide. "Hey."
"Hiya! What is mah bffl doing here?" Laura asked.
"Uh, idk," Mitchell said, awkwardly. He didn't want to tell Laura about the voices. Not yet.
"Oh, gosh, you really shouldn't be wandering the park alone, my darling bffl," Laura commented, "I think there are animals roaming the park at night - SOUTH AFRICAN CRICKETERS!"
"Oh, I see." But Mitchell didn't tense because being with Laura made everything safe.
Suddenly, a massive shadow launched up behind them. Mitchell turned around and watched the shadow. It was either a massive elephant or...
"A REALLY FAT MAN NAMED JACQUES KALLIS!" yelled Laura, jumping up from the slide. Her red boots with high heels clanked on the footpath as Laura ran up to Jacques Kallis.
"Hey, I'm not fat," Jacques Kallis informed us, with d'urggg.
Mitchell snorted. If you haven't seen Jacques Kallis on the cricket field, watch the cricket more often, Mitchell told the voices in his head.
"YES, YOU ARE!" Laura yelled, lunging towards him, fierceeely.
Jacques Kallis retreated away. He ran to the 7/11 across the road. Unfortunately for him, Laura followed him there.
Mitchell followed and watched how Jacques went inside the convience store and stood near the counter. Laura, on the other hand, bought a meat-and-onion pie. She held it in her hand.
"JACQUES," Laura said, with a lot of fierceeeeness, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN THE PARK AT NIGHT?"
"Well, why were you there?" Jacques said, d'urggggingly.
"ANSWER MY QUESTION FIRST~!" yelled Laura, even more fierceeee.
Mitchell waited and watched in a corner of the shop, scared of Jacques and his ugly appearance.
"I don't wanna! D'URGGGG!!" Jacques yelled back, with less fierceeeeness; just ugliness.
Laura threw the pie in his big, ugly face.
"Ha!" squeaked Mitchell.
Jacques Kallis ran from the 7/11. And Mitchell came out and high-fived Laura.
The End~!

FANFIC #2

~FANFIC~
Me and Mitchell Johnson were walking along the footpath. My red stillettos clanked and clinked along the path.
"How's the cricket going, bffl?" I asked, grinning madly.
"Excellent." Mitchell grinned back at me.
Suddenly, we saw a beefy-looking man coming towards us. He looked awfully serious with a lot of d'urggg.
And I looked ~mean~ back at him with a lot of fierceeeeeness.
"WHY SO SRS?" I yell at him.
"I tell ya why! You suck, that's why!" he yelled back. D'urg to the max.
"I KNOW YOU! YOU'RE THAT AUSTRALIAN-CRICKET-TEAM-WRECKING-BITCH, JACQUES KALLIS!" I yelled at him, grabbing his meat pie off him.
"Whaaaaaaaat?" he says, shocked that his meat pie has gone.
Jacques Kallis lunged for Mitchell.
"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MAH BFFL~!" I yelled.
And I threw the meat pie in his big, ugly face.
The End~!

There shall be more fanfics laterz.X']

MY FANFIC. (And some other crap)

Australia are playing cricket at the moment.
They aren't going TOO well. Like, Ponting went out for a golden duck.
But everyone else has done pretty well. D:

And yeah.
I hope Australia win.
It'll wipe the smirk off Graeme Smith's ugly face.
So, Graeme Smith, do you want to see Fierce!Laura or Happy!Laura?
It's your choice.
Ahem. I totally just realised that Graeme Smith won't be reading this blog. EPIC FAIL.

I feel like writing a fanfic.
Ahem.
~FANFIC~

There was once a girl called Laura. She was very fierceee and liked to throw pies at people she hated.
So, one day, Laura went for a walk in the park. She came across a guy. He was sitting with his back leaning against a tree. He looked unhappy.
"Why so chagrin?" I asked him.
The guy looked up at me. I recognised him as my bffl, Mitchell Johnson. "A big, ugly man pushed me off the swings," Mitchell said, pointing to the swings on the other side of the park.
"Oh," I said, "Where is he?"
"There!" Mitchell pointed at a fat, ugly-looking man.
I recognised the man as Graeme Smith and stomped over to him in my red stillettos.
"YOU HOME-WRECKING BITCH!" I yell at him.
"D'URGGGGG?" he says, d'urging it up.
"You hurt my bffl!" I yell, throwing a stick at him. The stick obviously missed his head but landed on his foot.
"I hurt your WHAT?" Graeme said. D'urg.
"My bffl." I looking around and saw a woman holding a pie. I grabbed the pie. "YOU MONSTER!"
"Your friend was bitch anyway," Graeme Smith retorted back at me.
I stared at him with ~evil~ eyes and threw the pie in his face.
The End~!

MY POLL.

Don't forget to vote on the poll. --->>>>>>>>
Which ever sport gets the highest votes, will be the sport that I mainly blog about.
kk.

SPORTING NEWS.

I was, like, reading Adam Gilchrist's book and he was saying how after he finished school, you couldn't just get into the Australian Cricket Team. And how you didn't get any money UNTIL you were in the Australian Cricket Team (unless you has a sponsorship).
So Gilly had to have a job (at the bank) and in the meantime, he trained and played cricket in order to get into the Australian team.

Anyway, he was saying how some other peeps in the Australian team had ambitions to be something OTHER than cricketers. And Gilly was like, "Brett Lee wanted to be a musician. But it basically came to an end when some thieves stole 160 CD's from Brett Lee's car except for the album Brett Lee's band made called Six & Out..."

I lol'd so much at that.
Poor little Brett Lee. ;_;
Oh well. He has his Bollywood/cricket career now.

In other news, Travis Cloke went to Maroochydore for New Year's Eve. And I think he got bashed up or something and taken to hospital yesterday.
And I'm like, "IF YOU WANNA MESS WITH MAH CLOKEY, YOU MESS WITH ME~! T_T"
So yeah.
Travis Cloke is so adorable. ^_^

"GRRRR," says Courtney Marlow, "I'M A TIGER!"

I finished reading teh Loathing Lola. ^_^
Courtney was fierceeeee. Lyk a tiger. GRR.
And she's dating Jackson Hammond and not Tim. ;_;
WHYYYY? Tim > Jackson.
And what does "d'urg" mean?
When Jackson says 'hi', Courtney is like, "D'urg." Well, she doesn't SAY d'urg but still.

Ah well.
The cricket starts tomorrow. The Sydney Test match.
If Australia don't win, I'll rock up at Graeme Smith's house with a knife (and a pie ^_^) and be like, "I HOPE YOU DIEEEEEE. -cuts up pie with knife and throws it at Graeme Smith-"
Haha, lol. I looked at the name "Graeme Smith" and thought of "Granny Smith." :P
Graeme Smith = Granny Smith. HAHA.
lmfao.

Anyway, Nathan Hauritz and Mitchell Johnson will be playing in the Test match. (Well, if they aren't, someone's going to die... -looks at Graeme Smith-)
Australia could just get Ashley Noffke/James Hopes/Phil Jaques to play. I like Ashley Noffke. His name sounds cute. And his nickname. Which is "Wombat". ^_^
Except he is too old for me. EPIC FAIL.

I know!
Let's make a list of people I have a crush on that I DEFINITELY can't date. (Like, they could be fictional characters or people too old for me... idk)

1. Ashley Noffke. ;_; I would have liked to have been Laura NOFFKE. lol.
2. Tim Watson. From Loathing Lola. WHUT? He's so cute. Shut up.
3. Seth Clearwater. I wish he could imprint on me. ;_;
4. Edward Cullen. Every girl's dream. ^_^
5. Adam Gilchrist. ily.
6. Brad Pitt. Yeah, he's, lyk, 45. Which is, lyk, my parent's age. EWW.
7. Mitchell Johnson/Nathan Hauritz. They are TEN years older than me. If I did anything with them, they'd feel like a pedophile. Srsly.
8. Julian. From Madagascar. WHUUUT? He has a really cool voice. Ah.
9. Alex. From Madagascar. Ben Stiller is funny as. And lions are cute. When I was a kid, I used to love lions. ^_^
10. Heath Shaw. As if I could date him. My mum would never let me in a car with him driving.
11. Jordan McAfee. From Jodie Picoult books. Okay, he's, like, 38 and a fictional character. But who cares? Selena can go get the hell out and I can be like, "OH HAI~, JORDAN!"
12. AND YEAHHHH. Comment me if you think of more. X']