Well, we lost to Hawthorn.
So, you know what that means.
It's time for another list.

So, Nathan Buckley, your team did well for a bit but I've got some stuff for you to get:

• 1 x quick-fix recovery for Nick Maxwell (if not available then 1300-JESUS should do it)
• 10 x Alex Fasolo
• 2 x Ben Reid, just in case one goes down
• 1 x Jye Bolton
• 59 x donkeys for Travis Cloke
• 8 x meatballs for Alex Fasolo (you deserve them, kiddo)
• 1 x boyfriend arm pillow for Daisy to sleep with (if not available, I'd like to offer my services)
• 1 x fix-ribs-quick for Darren Jolly 
• 1 x petition for all Hawks players to wear bells so you know if they are coming up behind you
• 1 x spray for Richmond players, delivered by Dave Hughes 
• 1 x laxatives for Trent Cotchin's pre-game tea*
• 22 x peptides to inject before the game
• 1 x Josh Thomas (no, not you Comedian Josh, sit down)
• 1 x sailing trip around the Whitsundays in September for Mick Malthouse
• 1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo
• 1 x marriage contract for me and Alex Fasolo to sign
• 1 x weed for Buddy Franklin to snort
• 1 x rules book for all AFL umpires
• 1 x brain for Heath Shaw (I'm sorry, but you can't just grab someone's jumper and shove them to the ground, jaysus)
• 1 x Will Minson to help me with my Maths assignment (did ya know Minson tutored a teammate in maths, the kid was able to play a solid 5 quarters)

And yeah.

We are going to beat those Tigers and send them back down to 9th.

*I just assume he's a tea person, okay. He looks like a tea person.