ANOTHER WEEK, ANOTHER LIST.

Well, we know one thing: the previous list didn't work so that sucks.

DAMN YOU, ESSENDON.
Ugh.

Anyway.
Time for another list (which will be sent to Nathan Buckley by a particularly fast owl, probably named Hedwig):

105 x rule books for all AFL umpires to share (with "contact sport" written in big letters on every page so that they don't give away free kicks for the barest of nudges, I mean seriously)
1 x Alan Didak
1 x Benny J
22 x peptides for each player
1 x Ben Kennedy (LET ALL THE BENS PLAY)
1 x easy-knee-treatment for Toovey (sold at your local 7/11 or supermarket)
10 x meatballs for Alex Fasolo
1 x hug for Alex Fasolo (given to him by yours truly b/c I've always wanted to hug little Faz)
1 x Luke Ball
16 x Steele Sidebottom
4 x green vests for Sinclair, Fasolo and Seedsman (b/c these three might play just a touch better after taking off a green vest, yeah? We know Faz can, at any rate)
1 x punnet of berries for Stephen Milne* (I found them on a wild bush somewhere, idk)
1 x Cam Wood, for Travis Cloke to cuddle at night
1 x Chris Dawes (look, I know, but it doesn't work with one full-forward and one full-forward-slash-ruckman WE LEARNT THAT LAST YEAR, YES OKAY GOSH)
63 x painkillers for Dayne Beams (I just want him back *sniff*)
22 x schoolgirls (that'll keep each St Kilda player occupied on Friday, right?)
1 x SLR camera for Harry O (b/c Weekly Steele Photos are my life okay)
50 x 'How To Kick Goals for Dummies' for each Collingwood player (there may be spares idk)
1 x 1000-word essay on 'How To Kick A Goal' from each player given to Bucks first thing Monday morning
1 x Jye Bolton
1 x Kris Pendlebury (some good defenders would be sweet right now)


*he looks like a berry person, okay. I don't know what a berry person looks like (if there is such a thing), but Milne is it.