copeland trophy predictions

I'm bored, let's see how accurate I am to who wins the awards at Collingwood's Best and Fairest Night.

1st: Scott Pendlebury
2nd: Dane Swan
3rd: Travis Cloke
4th: Nathan J Brown
5th: Heath Shaw

6th: Steele Sidebottom
7th: Jarryd Blair
8th: Ben Reid
9th: Harry O'Brien
10th: Nick Maxwell


Best Finals Player: Swanny (or tied with Marley, idek we only played one so does this award still count)

Best First Year Player: Josh Thomas (if he's eligible, idek it's actually his 4th year)
Best First Year Player (if Josh isn't eligible): Sam Dwyer

Best VFL player: Kyle Martin

Gordon Coventry award (leading goalkicker): Travis Cloke, duh

Best clubman: idek probably Nick Maxwell

Desire Indicators: no idea what this means hahaha I'm saying Daisy :P


Also yeah, idek Dayne Beams and Luke Ball might get in the top 10 but idek they missed a lot of games so yeah.
And I thought about putting Josh Thomas or Sam Dwyer in the top 10 (it COULD happen, don't DENY it) but I forgot about Heath Shaw oops, he's up there fo' shizzle

TRADE WEEK 2013

Players I want to come to Collingwood:

• Nick Dal Santo
• Taylor Adams
• Sam Reid

And I want them all for nothing.

Players I don't want at Collingwood:

• Jesse White
• Q-Stick (okay OKAY whatever)

Bye

ew off seasons

Yeah, off-seasons suck and everything, so after losing to Port and the Week From Hell, here's some events to look forward to:

• me and Daisy's wedding
• the All-Australian awards where Pendlebury and Swanny are rovers/centre positions and Trav full/half forwards roles
• JAMIE ELLIOTT MARK OF THE YEAR
• Daisy signing his ten-year contract for Collingwood so we never ever have to deal with this awful "will he or won't he" again (except when the ten year ends and he signs another one)
• Pendles winning his first Brownlow
• Trade Week, holding our collective breaths for 3 weeks hoping that no Collingwood players are traded
• Trade Week, hoping we get some superstars 
• Nat Fyfe adorably accepting his Norm Smith medal
• Nat Fyfe also adorably accepting his premiership medal
• me crying at the above two events
• The Draft where we add to our epic talent
• The boys going to Utah/Arizona/etc and seeing their abs and other gorgeous body parts
• Seeing photos of the boys in Utah/Arizona/etc especially Tooves and Daisy and Faz getting stronger and less injured 
• Copeland Trophy, when Faz invites me along as his wifey
• Pendles and Swanny and Trav winning the Copeland in a three way tie
• Josh Thomas getting in the Top 5 in the Copeland (shoosh, it MIGHT happen)
• Josh Thomas getting Best First Year Player (is he even eligible, i don't even know)
• Alex Fasolo out-doing his last year's Grand Final Footy Show Revue performance 
• Caolan Mooney winning the Half Time Sprint at the GF
• Bucks realising he made a mistake and putting Didak and Jolly back on our list
• Daisy dumping his new girlfriend and standing outside my window with a boombox
• Swanny inviting me to Amsterdam
• CATCHING FIRE
• the Rookie Draft where we get more Kyle Martins and Adam Oxleys and make our VFL team win more games

and yeah

good times

So, we lost in the last game of the season.
But hey, unlike North, at least we have finals.
Too bad we couldn't get that coleman medal for Trav. Sigh.
Also yeah, if Hawks beat Sydney, and Geelong beat Freo, then our first three weeks of finals are against teams we couldn't beat earlier this year. But that's okay, history is useless, we'll beat 'em in the very very near future.

Hey, Bucks, time for a list:

• 1 x rule book for the umpires b/c really, the stuff they pulled out of the hat on Sunday was like um okay then, whatever.
• 1 x Clinton Young 
• 1 x Luke Ball (stupid North running free after the centre bounce like how on earth do we stop that...)
• 1 x prayer circle that Nathan J Brown is ready to give 110% next week
• 1 x Mitch Brown, just in case
• 3 x Collingwood players in the 2013 All Australian team
• 7 x chocolate cakes for Alex Fasolo
• 1 x nice holiday to Fiji for Daisy and his real girlfriend (me)
• 1 x wedding for me and Daisy
• 1 x Brownlow medal for Scott Pendlebury
• 1 x car for Jamie Elliott's Mark/s of the Year (get stuffed, Matty Wade's cousin)
• 1 x car for Didak or Beamsy to win Goal of the Year
• 1 x Rising Star medal for Marley
• 10 x award for our Rising Star who is much better than Jaegar O'bloodymeara but just happens to be 22 this year like ugh (ily Josh)
• 1 x letter in an envelope filled to the brim of anthrax sent to Kochie's house
• 1 x ban for any player in the finals who took peptides last year
• 1 x Harry O
• 2 x Didak

And look, it's me in the cartoon this week OH GOD I ALWAYS STAND FOREVER IN A 7/11 OR IN FRONT OF A VENDING MACHINE LIKE WHAT THE HELL HOW DO I CHOOSE WHICH ONE TO GET, ALSO VENDING MACHINES ARE BLOODY EXPENSIVE SO I CAN ONLY HAVE ONE ITEM AND I CAN'T CHOOSE HALP.

In other news, yes Bucks it's easy, just follow the list.
Also, in: Luke Ball, Harry O, Jamie/Sinclair, maybe Jolly & Young
out: Q-stick, BenKen (sorry kiddo, come back next year), ummm idek maybe Josh or Seedsy, but that's only if Young and Jamie are 110% fit b/c finals experience > no finals experience? idk idk okay maybe Bucks' job is harder than I thought. Sigh.

ugh Hawks, what a mean team. :(
As if we even need a list, it should just be-
Out: Q-Stick
In: Traffic Cone.

No list today, what if I do a Buckley's to do list instead? I mean, I didn't sneak into his house for nothing.
*secretly copies list from another time and posts it here*
WE HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS ALL YEAR
Q-stick
Delivery to the forwards
That's it.
And maybe kicking for goal but that's good enough, like Trav getting 5.0 against Essendon and missing easy set shots against other teams.

Anyway, here goes: (Bucks' To Do List)

• Buy the book called "how to play footyball" for Q-Stick
• Ring up AFL HQ and demand that Brodie Grundy gets a Rising Star nom
• Buy Alex Fasolo an ice-cream 
• Clone Scott Pendlebury
• Take the super defender Nathan J Brown out for coffee 
• Book in appointment at Madd Hair
• Search up pictures of George Clooney
• Hire a forwards coach
• Sweet talk Dawes to come back
• If Dawes won't come, kidnap Jack Watts instead
• Bring a large sack to the game next Friday to kidnap Sharrod
• Practise carrying inanimate objects in the sack during the week so that you won't mess up Sharrod's hair on Friday
• Kidnap Mitch Brown too, while you're at it
• Tell Faz that there's a nice girl named Laura who likes him
• Tell Faz not to follow Lindsay Lohan on twitter and to choose better people to follow such as @zoidberg_cool
• Ring up Clarko and demand that his players be punished for the way they treated Travis Cloke
• Burn all the tapes at the MRP office (except the one with Q-Stick hitting Mitchell, just pretend you didn't see when you scoured the office)
• Pray to every god you can think of that Sinclair, Pendles and Daisy's injuries are fine
• Send Daisy a 'get well soon' card and flowers
• Deliver a letter coated in anthrax to John Worsfold
• Sign the petition to throw all Selwoods off a cliff

And yeah.

Busy week.

Chin up, Bucks, we'll smash those Eagles.

And GWS or whoever will smash those Tigers, oh man 5th place is ours. :D

Yeah yeah whatever, sports sucks, blah blah blah

And a much needed list for Buckley and co:

• 18 x players on the field (dunno, it might help, all I saw on Saturday night was red red red yellow bald head more red and Marley and then Beamsy Jamie Marley more red then Marley again and Pendles Josh Thomas)
• 22 x Marley Williams
• 1 x Rising Star nomination for Marley Williams
• 1 x Rising Star medal for Marley Williams
• 1 x car for Jamie Elliott (basically, he's got Mark of the Year in the bag.)
• 82642 x books titled "how to kick goals for dummies"
• 1 x essay from each player on how to kick a goal delivered to Bucks' office by Wednesday morning
• 1 x Jackson Paine 
• 1 x Kyle Martin (I think he's learnt that he's not the star of his local footy club anymore with all the flair b/c good, put him back in)
• 3 x Josh Thomas
• 284 x spoons of ice-creams for Alex Fasolo
• 1 x Ben Kennedy
• 1 x Jarryd Blair
• 1 x Nathan J Brown
• 1 x Mitch Brown
• 4 x large sacks of money dropped on Tom Scully's head
• 1 x Sharrod Wellingham
• 1 x coleman medal for Travis Cloke
• 1 x rule book for the umpires (they weren't even bad on Saturday we can't even blame the umpires, except the push-in-the-back on Keeffe sigh)
• 1 x Daisy Thomas
• 1 x date for me & Daisy
• 1 x wedding for me & Daisy
• 1 x honeymoon in a nice warm place for me & Daisy 

Here's a list for Australia in the cricket:

• Dave Warner for the sole reason of punching that bloody Root kid

That's all.

Teehee, Ablett themes :P

Ewww, I hate losing. Especially when we played crap ugh ugh what the hell happened, like we were so great against Geelong, really really great, best game all year. WHY CAN'T WE FOUR QUARTER EFFORT or at least one quarter effort

What's the time?
Time for another list, express posted to Nathan Buckley.

• 15 x Dayne Beams
• 9264 x Travis Cloke (you know, one for every defender that was surrounding poor Trav)
• 1 x AFL rules book for every umpire (we can't even blame the umpires for most of the game but it wouldn't hurt for them to refresh the rules)
• 1 x Jackson Paine (lol Q-stick)
• 1 x Clinton Young
• 1 x Andy Krakouer
• 1 x Ben Johnson
• 1 x Tyson Goldsack
• 1 x punch to Marc Murphy's jaw
• 22 x peptides for each of our players
• 8 x Josh Thomas
• 1 x rising star nomination for Josh Thomas (aw, screw age limits, the kid isn't even 22 yet)
• 3 x Ben Kennedy
• 1 x green vest for someone other than Ben Kennedy
• 1 x slab of beer for Dane Swan UGH SWANNY GIVE ME BACK MY PEN, YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE ONE BEER, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT
• 1 x letter that squirts poison when you open it for Mick Malthouse
• 1 x rating of 1 and a half stars for that viewing of Man of Steel(e) - the stars come with a big "you tried" in the middle
• 1 x book titled "How to do Forward Structure for Dummies" for the forwards coach (if there is one)
• 34 x books titled "How to utilise two tall forwards and a handful of crumbers in an effective way that will get goals for Dummies" 
• 475 x books titled "Handballing to each other through the midfield and shepherding whoever has the ball like ya feel me"
• 1 x car for Jamie Elliott (IF THAT MARK DOESN'T GET MARK OF THE YEAR, I'M GOING TO BURN DOWN AFL HEADQUARTERS)
• 1 x Coleman Medal for Travis Cloke (I just really want him to win it, okay, just omg)
• 43 x cakes for Alex Fasolo (you know, a thanks for RT'ing my tweet, I love you Faz)
• 1 x Timmy Broomhead (I mean, the kid has been described as a Scott Pendlebury, maybe he can help our midfield out)
• 1 x Chris Dawes
• 1 x Jye Bolton
• 1 x handmade large red paper-heart given to Alex Fasolo
• 7 x vicious lions placed in Chris Judd's bedroom
• 1 x Ben Reid

I like the comic omfg, like the only game Q-Stick has actually played half-decent was against Carlton, when he had to hold up the ruck on his own.
Except Q-Stick has been a good second ruckman this year, like way better than what Dawes was. But Dawes is a way better forward.
Ugh.