ugh Hawks, what a mean team. :(
As if we even need a list, it should just be-
Out: Q-Stick
In: Traffic Cone.

No list today, what if I do a Buckley's to do list instead? I mean, I didn't sneak into his house for nothing.
*secretly copies list from another time and posts it here*
WE HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS ALL YEAR
Q-stick
Delivery to the forwards
That's it.
And maybe kicking for goal but that's good enough, like Trav getting 5.0 against Essendon and missing easy set shots against other teams.

Anyway, here goes: (Bucks' To Do List)

• Buy the book called "how to play footyball" for Q-Stick
• Ring up AFL HQ and demand that Brodie Grundy gets a Rising Star nom
• Buy Alex Fasolo an ice-cream 
• Clone Scott Pendlebury
• Take the super defender Nathan J Brown out for coffee 
• Book in appointment at Madd Hair
• Search up pictures of George Clooney
• Hire a forwards coach
• Sweet talk Dawes to come back
• If Dawes won't come, kidnap Jack Watts instead
• Bring a large sack to the game next Friday to kidnap Sharrod
• Practise carrying inanimate objects in the sack during the week so that you won't mess up Sharrod's hair on Friday
• Kidnap Mitch Brown too, while you're at it
• Tell Faz that there's a nice girl named Laura who likes him
• Tell Faz not to follow Lindsay Lohan on twitter and to choose better people to follow such as @zoidberg_cool
• Ring up Clarko and demand that his players be punished for the way they treated Travis Cloke
• Burn all the tapes at the MRP office (except the one with Q-Stick hitting Mitchell, just pretend you didn't see when you scoured the office)
• Pray to every god you can think of that Sinclair, Pendles and Daisy's injuries are fine
• Send Daisy a 'get well soon' card and flowers
• Deliver a letter coated in anthrax to John Worsfold
• Sign the petition to throw all Selwoods off a cliff

And yeah.

Busy week.

Chin up, Bucks, we'll smash those Eagles.

And GWS or whoever will smash those Tigers, oh man 5th place is ours. :D

Yeah yeah whatever, sports sucks, blah blah blah

And a much needed list for Buckley and co:

• 18 x players on the field (dunno, it might help, all I saw on Saturday night was red red red yellow bald head more red and Marley and then Beamsy Jamie Marley more red then Marley again and Pendles Josh Thomas)
• 22 x Marley Williams
• 1 x Rising Star nomination for Marley Williams
• 1 x Rising Star medal for Marley Williams
• 1 x car for Jamie Elliott (basically, he's got Mark of the Year in the bag.)
• 82642 x books titled "how to kick goals for dummies"
• 1 x essay from each player on how to kick a goal delivered to Bucks' office by Wednesday morning
• 1 x Jackson Paine 
• 1 x Kyle Martin (I think he's learnt that he's not the star of his local footy club anymore with all the flair b/c good, put him back in)
• 3 x Josh Thomas
• 284 x spoons of ice-creams for Alex Fasolo
• 1 x Ben Kennedy
• 1 x Jarryd Blair
• 1 x Nathan J Brown
• 1 x Mitch Brown
• 4 x large sacks of money dropped on Tom Scully's head
• 1 x Sharrod Wellingham
• 1 x coleman medal for Travis Cloke
• 1 x rule book for the umpires (they weren't even bad on Saturday we can't even blame the umpires, except the push-in-the-back on Keeffe sigh)
• 1 x Daisy Thomas
• 1 x date for me & Daisy
• 1 x wedding for me & Daisy
• 1 x honeymoon in a nice warm place for me & Daisy 

Here's a list for Australia in the cricket:

• Dave Warner for the sole reason of punching that bloody Root kid

That's all.

Teehee, Ablett themes :P

Ewww, I hate losing. Especially when we played crap ugh ugh what the hell happened, like we were so great against Geelong, really really great, best game all year. WHY CAN'T WE FOUR QUARTER EFFORT or at least one quarter effort

What's the time?
Time for another list, express posted to Nathan Buckley.

• 15 x Dayne Beams
• 9264 x Travis Cloke (you know, one for every defender that was surrounding poor Trav)
• 1 x AFL rules book for every umpire (we can't even blame the umpires for most of the game but it wouldn't hurt for them to refresh the rules)
• 1 x Jackson Paine (lol Q-stick)
• 1 x Clinton Young
• 1 x Andy Krakouer
• 1 x Ben Johnson
• 1 x Tyson Goldsack
• 1 x punch to Marc Murphy's jaw
• 22 x peptides for each of our players
• 8 x Josh Thomas
• 1 x rising star nomination for Josh Thomas (aw, screw age limits, the kid isn't even 22 yet)
• 3 x Ben Kennedy
• 1 x green vest for someone other than Ben Kennedy
• 1 x slab of beer for Dane Swan UGH SWANNY GIVE ME BACK MY PEN, YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE ONE BEER, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT
• 1 x letter that squirts poison when you open it for Mick Malthouse
• 1 x rating of 1 and a half stars for that viewing of Man of Steel(e) - the stars come with a big "you tried" in the middle
• 1 x book titled "How to do Forward Structure for Dummies" for the forwards coach (if there is one)
• 34 x books titled "How to utilise two tall forwards and a handful of crumbers in an effective way that will get goals for Dummies" 
• 475 x books titled "Handballing to each other through the midfield and shepherding whoever has the ball like ya feel me"
• 1 x car for Jamie Elliott (IF THAT MARK DOESN'T GET MARK OF THE YEAR, I'M GOING TO BURN DOWN AFL HEADQUARTERS)
• 1 x Coleman Medal for Travis Cloke (I just really want him to win it, okay, just omg)
• 43 x cakes for Alex Fasolo (you know, a thanks for RT'ing my tweet, I love you Faz)
• 1 x Timmy Broomhead (I mean, the kid has been described as a Scott Pendlebury, maybe he can help our midfield out)
• 1 x Chris Dawes
• 1 x Jye Bolton
• 1 x handmade large red paper-heart given to Alex Fasolo
• 7 x vicious lions placed in Chris Judd's bedroom
• 1 x Ben Reid

I like the comic omfg, like the only game Q-Stick has actually played half-decent was against Carlton, when he had to hold up the ruck on his own.
Except Q-Stick has been a good second ruckman this year, like way better than what Dawes was. But Dawes is a way better forward.
Ugh.

Ughhhhh.

Blahhh

Just.... unnghhhhh

Well, I guess it's time for another list. Ugh. (just a warning: I don't mean to insult our players, okay, I'm sorry, but they need to lift. Just a little bit.)

(Also, a few players played well, Travis and Harry O, and a few players tried really hard, definitely Krak, maybe Seedsy, Jamie was in there a bit, Pendles I guess, so idk we weren't all bad but as a team, we were pretty bad)

• 1 x Alan Didak
• 1 x Ben Johnson
• 1 x education for that 14 year old girl
• 482 x donkeys for Travis Cloke
• 77 x book titled "How to Precise Kick to Teammate for Dummies" for every Collingwood player (keep the leftovers, Swanny tends to lose things... LIKE THE BALL, JFC)
• 21 x book titled "If half the Swans are on Travis, surely there's someone else to kick it to" for every Collingwood player last night except Travis
• 1 x book titled "learn to goddamn make a lead and mark and kick goals and FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU SPUD" for the Q-stick
• 22 x book titled "learn to goddamn lead out and give a player something to kick to" for every Collingwood player (except maybe Travis, seeing as he has every man and his dog surrounding him)
• 3 x quick-heal-fast treatments for Beamsy, Daisy and Faz
• 1 x quick-ACL-healer for Toovey
• 1 x Ben Sinclair
• 20 x shots of caffeine for Collingwood players (Travis and Harry O can be excused though)
• 20 x peptides for Collingwood players (again, Trav and Harry excused)
• 1 x chocolate cake for the ever-improving Jordan Russell
• 2 x 'gold star' badges for Wittsy and Travis, for helping us get off to a good start
• 2 x 'bronze-or-maybe-it's-tin stars' for Jamie and Sammy Dwyer, for giving me something to cheer about in the 4th quarter
• 1 x Josh Thomas
• 5 x laxatives slipped into Michael Voss' coffee
• 22 x extra padding for each Collingwood player next week, just in case Jonathan Brown runs into them and leaves a hole the size of a house in their body
• 1 x Jackson Paine (no but Q-stick doesn't have to go, I just... maybe Wittsy could just, y'know, step aside maybe?)
• 1 x Kyle Martin (sadhappyface) (love ya, Faz, and I'm sorry, it's for the best xoxox)
• 1 x Adam Oxley (DAISY, I'M SORRY, FORGIVE ME also please stay at the Pies, okay good)
• 1 x Jack Watts
• 1 x Kris Pendlebury (people sitting near me at the VFL were discussing how we should've picked this kid up in the draft and how ridiculous that he's 28 or something and is a quality defender/leader and also related to that Scott kid and NO ONE WANTS HIM JFC)
• 1 x Jye Bolton
• 1 x Mitch Brown
• 1 x Ben Hudson (no but Jolly can have a rest against the Lions and the Dogs, okay, and anyway, Jolly can play against Melbourne, it's all fabbity fab fab)
• 22 x fare evading fines for the Sydney players, I mean as if they had myki AS IF.
• 1 x Heath Shaw (no why hope it's not a serious injury ugh)
• 1 x Tyson Goldsack
• 1 x Lachlan Keeffe (maybe in a few weeks)
• 1 x Dayne Beams 
• 1 x Toovey
• 1 x petition for that Leuenberger kid to legally change his name to Leuenburger-canihavefrieswiththat

ugh I could just list every injured player, we need them WE NEED THEM ALL.

Nah, apparently Kyle Martin is a Beams, so him and Dwyer will be fab, also Oxley is a Toovey, both Ox and Martin played superb today, yay. :D

Yeah, I give up, my lists are silly, this is why I said I'd only write lists after losses so I wouldn't have to do this anymore, sigh. :/

WINNERS

WE DID IT
WE BEAT AN UNDEFEATED TEAM
WE BEAT GEELONG IN AN ODD YEAR

You guise, it was such a good match, like just wow.
No Toovey, no Daisy, no Heath Shaw, no Beams, no Tyson Goldsack, AND YET WE STILL WON
And the best part: we got off to a good start and managed to stay ahead for basically the whole match (until the umpires gave Geelong all the free kicks but luckily that didn't faze us).

MAD SKILLZ

And I know all you avid readers (or lack of) are patiently waiting for another silly list, well TOO BAD b/c we don't need a list. Everything is okay. We just take that intensity from last night, all that pressure and tackling and awesomeness, and do it again next Friday. Maybe with Didak and Benny J, but yeah. Oh and Heath Shaw. Maybe get rid of Wittsy idk idk he did a super good tackle though, like yeah, it was such a team effort.

Also SAM DWYER.
The kid has been so damn good for us, not just last night, but all the other games, and like how was he hiding down at Port Melbourne all these years. But like he's 26 and not one club wanted him for all those years? Huh.

Oh and Jamie Elliott is just amazing, the way he played last night, not only kicking 3 goals but assisting goals too.
Also Krakouer omg, like just so great.
Krak, Caff, Lukey Ball... three out of four players that had ACLs last year were playing and did a pretty damn good job.
Marley Williams, back from a shoulder reconstruction, was amazing too.

Just a superb effort.

Anyway.
So proud of the boys.
Also, if Jolly gets suspended for THAT, then it's ridiculous, I mean yes it may have been high, but Stokes ran into Jolly AND DIDN'T EVEN GET HURT. AT ALL.
Oh well.
It'll only be a week, at most.
Our new number 25 ruckman will be okay to play.
Also, we've got Wittsy (who played alright) and Corey Gault is improving each week in the VFL, and Grundy's due to make his VFL debut next week or the week after (also Keeffe!), so ruck is the last of our worries.

Awesome. :D

New rule: only make lists (even Buckley's to-do list or anything) after a loss.
This is better b/c we don't need lists after a win at all, b/c a win is a win.
And wins are good, we like winning, and we're happy after a win, so why need cheering up with a silly list?
The silly lists originated for cheering us up after a loss.
So, here goes.

• 1 x petition to change the year to an even year (just for the game next Saturday, we can beat the Cats in even years)
• 1 x Luke Ball
• 1 x Alan Didak
• 8 x large chocolate cakes with chocolate icing for the VFL Match Review Panel to reverse Faz' suspension
• 3 x large chocolate cakes with chocolate icing for Alex Fasolo
• 88 x donkeys for Travis Cloke
• 1 x petition for all games to be three quarters max.
• 2,827,424 x banana peels scattered along the Princes Freeway on Friday/Saturday, all the way from Geelong to the MCG 
• 10 x road blocks along Princes Freeway, just in case
• 1 x Ben Johnson
• 1 x Jye Bolton
• 1 x Sharrod Wellingham
• 1 x Ben Sinclair (NEED. FOR. SPEED.) (idk was that our problem, speed wasn't even our problem? Just need fresher legs, I guess)
• 1 x book titled "How to Kick Goals for Dummies" for Travis Cloke (he can share it around though)
• 21 x book titled "There Are More Players Who Can Mark And Kick Goals Than Me So Kick It To Them Or So Help Me: an autobiography by Travis Cloke" for everyone except Travis Cloke (it's basically just pictures based on Travis' literate abilities but it has a better storyline than Twilight and comes with a free pack of crayons)
• 1 x book titled "How to be a Somewhat Decent Ruck and Forward and Kick Sweet Goals from 50-metres on the Boundary: autobiography by Leigh Brown" for Quinten Lynch
• 1 x Jarrod Witts (I'd give him Leigh Brown's autobiography as well, but he already has a several copies, and hugs them in bed each night)
• 1 x Dayne Beams
• 4 x gold stars for Sammy Dwyer, Josh Thomas, Sidebottom, and Seedsman.
• 1 x quick-fix-hamstrings for Marty Clarke
• 2 x hungry vicious lions released into Jimmy Bartel's bedroom
• 1 x turducken for Joel Selwood, except instead of the turducken, it's just a duck with a ticking timebomb inside
• 1 x punch in the face for Chris Scott (wipe that smirk off his stupid face)
• 1 x brain for Heath Shaw b/c fuck you that's why
• 1 x camera for Harry O
• 1 x AFL rules book for the umpires, just in case
• 1 x law to make ducking your head for a free kick illegal
• 1 x anti-wrinkle cream for Podsiadly
• 1 x Mitch Brown
• 1 x Lachlan Keeffe
• 1 x petition for Tom Hawkins to officially change his name to Tom Dorkins (I want to spell it "dawkins" but I'm sure there's decent people with that last name and there's nothing worse than having the same name as a twat)

And yeah.

We have nothing to worry about, you guise.

Everything is okay.

Go Pies!

P.S. for obvious reasons, this is the last list ever until Hell freezes over. Or until Collingwood loses again, whichever comes first.
(The answer is obvious)
(You may as well start praying the temperature drops in Satan's bedroom)
(And then we'll use the sharp icicles to stab blue-and-white-striped pussycats)

WINNING

WE BEAT THE 2009/2010 NEAR-PREMIERS, HOW GREAT ARE WE
Of course we're great.
Seriously.

Now, excuse me while I sneak into Bucks' house, say hi to Jett and Ayce, steal a piece of last night's lasagna from their fridge, and take a photo of Bucks' to-do list hanging on the fridge (sandwiched between Jett's report card with a big A+ on it and a photo of Bucks holding a brownlow medal)

Anyway.
Here's what it says:

• Make sure plane seat to Perth is next to Alex Fasolo

• Buy a camera for Harry O (weekly steele photos, yay)

• Tell Faz he needs to take more instagram photos or he can't get back on the team

• Take Faz out for lunch

• Buy two tickets for Legally Blonde The Musical

• Work up the courage to ask Faz to come with

• Pray 3 times a day that Jack Frost's knee is okay

• Book hair appointment at Madd Hair

• Search up google images of Ryan Gosling

• Realise that Ryan Gosling is too handsome

• Spend all week trying to get photos of Daisy's hair from different angles

• Realise that Daisy is more handsome than Ryan Gosling

• Retrieve photo of Ryan Gosling from the trash

• Send a postcard with a picture of the 2010 premiers on it and title it "wish you were here (but you aren't!)" to Ross Lyon

• Cover the aforementioned postcard in anthrax

• Teach the players how to kick goals

• Bake a cake for Alex Fasolo

• Let Faz lick the spoon

• Send the spoon to Mick Malthouse's mansion

• Laugh because the spoon was wooden

• Casually ring Sharrod to see how he's going

• Bring a large sack to Perth

• Try to remember how big Sharrod was and hope that the aforementioned large sack is big enough

• Maybe get a bigger sack so Mitch Brown will fit in there too

• Attempt to find the largest sack possible so Nathan Fyfe will also fit

• Organise a lightspeed-recovery program for Fyfe for when he is brought back to Melbourne

• Get all the injured Pies on the same lightspeed-recovery program

Phew, it must be a busy week for Bucks.

I think the list was longer, but you know these smart phone cameras, they can't capture everything. 

Anyway

Yeah, bring it on, Freo, way to not go

Heave the hell out of here, ho(e)