New rule: only make lists (even Buckley's to-do list or anything) after a loss.
This is better b/c we don't need lists after a win at all, b/c a win is a win.
And wins are good, we like winning, and we're happy after a win, so why need cheering up with a silly list?
The silly lists originated for cheering us up after a loss.
So, here goes.

• 1 x petition to change the year to an even year (just for the game next Saturday, we can beat the Cats in even years)
• 1 x Luke Ball
• 1 x Alan Didak
• 8 x large chocolate cakes with chocolate icing for the VFL Match Review Panel to reverse Faz' suspension
• 3 x large chocolate cakes with chocolate icing for Alex Fasolo
• 88 x donkeys for Travis Cloke
• 1 x petition for all games to be three quarters max.
• 2,827,424 x banana peels scattered along the Princes Freeway on Friday/Saturday, all the way from Geelong to the MCG 
• 10 x road blocks along Princes Freeway, just in case
• 1 x Ben Johnson
• 1 x Jye Bolton
• 1 x Sharrod Wellingham
• 1 x Ben Sinclair (NEED. FOR. SPEED.) (idk was that our problem, speed wasn't even our problem? Just need fresher legs, I guess)
• 1 x book titled "How to Kick Goals for Dummies" for Travis Cloke (he can share it around though)
• 21 x book titled "There Are More Players Who Can Mark And Kick Goals Than Me So Kick It To Them Or So Help Me: an autobiography by Travis Cloke" for everyone except Travis Cloke (it's basically just pictures based on Travis' literate abilities but it has a better storyline than Twilight and comes with a free pack of crayons)
• 1 x book titled "How to be a Somewhat Decent Ruck and Forward and Kick Sweet Goals from 50-metres on the Boundary: autobiography by Leigh Brown" for Quinten Lynch
• 1 x Jarrod Witts (I'd give him Leigh Brown's autobiography as well, but he already has a several copies, and hugs them in bed each night)
• 1 x Dayne Beams
• 4 x gold stars for Sammy Dwyer, Josh Thomas, Sidebottom, and Seedsman.
• 1 x quick-fix-hamstrings for Marty Clarke
• 2 x hungry vicious lions released into Jimmy Bartel's bedroom
• 1 x turducken for Joel Selwood, except instead of the turducken, it's just a duck with a ticking timebomb inside
• 1 x punch in the face for Chris Scott (wipe that smirk off his stupid face)
• 1 x brain for Heath Shaw b/c fuck you that's why
• 1 x camera for Harry O
• 1 x AFL rules book for the umpires, just in case
• 1 x law to make ducking your head for a free kick illegal
• 1 x anti-wrinkle cream for Podsiadly
• 1 x Mitch Brown
• 1 x Lachlan Keeffe
• 1 x petition for Tom Hawkins to officially change his name to Tom Dorkins (I want to spell it "dawkins" but I'm sure there's decent people with that last name and there's nothing worse than having the same name as a twat)

And yeah.

We have nothing to worry about, you guise.

Everything is okay.

Go Pies!

P.S. for obvious reasons, this is the last list ever until Hell freezes over. Or until Collingwood loses again, whichever comes first.
(The answer is obvious)
(You may as well start praying the temperature drops in Satan's bedroom)
(And then we'll use the sharp icicles to stab blue-and-white-striped pussycats)