so i'm bringing back the lists
b/c nathan buckley probably needs help
- 1 x exact replica of dayne beams WE NEED ONE SO BADLY
- 6 x Alex Fasolo's, b/c you can never go wrong with a few more sexy babes
- 29 x Steele Sidebottom
- 1 x book titled "how to kick straight for dummies" for Taylor Adams
- 20 x pairs of glasses for any player who can't tell the difference between a mostly blue jumper and a black-and-white one (BASICALLY ALL THE PLAYERS)
- 1 x birthday cake for timmy darling
- 1 x cake for Alex Fasolo b/c he would want one idk
- 20 x book titled "how to make space and a lead and just genuinely help out your poor teammate with the ball" for basically everyone, I guess
- 1 x lesson on how to kick to Travis Cloke's hands
- 1 x lesson on how to pick up the ball AND HOLD ONTO IT FOR GOD'S SAKE
- 1 x magnet for the match-day ball so it gravitates to collingwood players
- 1 x "accidental fire" at whatever TAB that Jack Crisp put a bet on at, so that all records are lost
- 1 x Lachlan Keeffe + beard
- 1 x padded-up Ben Reid (honestly, how does he even get by in life, like does he ever stub his toe on the couch and just shatter into two million pieces????)
- 1 x Jonathon Marsh b/c it'd really suit us to have a "coach" on the field to yell at the other players BECAUSE THEY NEED YELLING AT.
- 1 x Matt Scharenberg I WANT HIM TO PLAY NOW. I MISS HIM.
- 1 x Jordan De Goey (gooey)
- 1 x Timmyyyyy
- 1 x BenKen
- 1 x Patty K
- 1 x treasure map for Alex Fasolo to lead him to the treasure (me)
- 1 x catfish under the backseat of Dayne Beams' car (ewwww)
- 1 x Seedsy with his cool hair and funky penguin waddle
- 1 x mark-taking Clinton Young (not the other one)
- 1 x Patrick Dangerfield
okay okay, whatever
I'll just go mail this list to Nathan Buckley and yeah we're all set. Bring on the Lions. You're welcome, Collingwood supporters.
