Let's make another list. I'm bored and here to help out Nathan Buckley.
8 x cakes for Alex Fasolo (with several scoops of ice-cream)
1 x new house for Sharrod Wellingham (he can move in with anyone that he likes, just as long as they don't do drugs)
32 x shots of painkiller for Sharrod Wellingham's finger. (that's how you get over an injury, right? RIGHT?)
1 x Andrew Krakouer.
1 x Darren Jolly.
1 x premiership medal for Chris Tarrant. (whether it's delivered to him now or in 6 weeks, doesn't matter, but he deserves one)
2 x hair gel for Daisy Thomas.
1 x pen for Travis Cloke
1 x 'Learning How to Sign Your Name For Dummies' book for Travis Cloke
15 x 'Learn how to run through the midfield and kick goals for Dummies' books for basically everyone (except maybe Alex Fasolo and people with tattoos and Pendles and Benny J)
1 x brain for Chris Dawes. (yep okay, this is slightly mean, I get it, shut up... but in an article in the newspaper today, apparently Dawes said, "I was only a bit off with my marking against North" A BIT? JUST A BIT? IT HIT YOUR CHEST AND BOUNCED OFF... A BIT?)
2 x puppies for Alex Fasolo.
67 x donkeys for Travis Cloke. (nope, he STILL doesn't have enough donkeys)
1 x Leigh Brown (or SOMEONE, I don't know, but the forwards structure is kind of woeful and it has been basically all year, shut up, you'd think having two big forwards would be a plus but nope, we somehow manage to make it into a liability)
2 x Josh Thomas (the comedian and the football player- North got a rev-up by Hughesy, can't we have a comedian rev us up? CAN'T WE?)
1 x bucket of weed for Buddy Franklin.
1 x holiday for the following people: Daniel Kerr, that Priddis guy, Nic Nat, and Dean Cox.
5 x Alex Fasolo (he makes kicking 50-metre goals look easy, okay, we need more of this, MOREEEE)
1 x Jye Bolton.
1 x 'How to Ruck for Dummies' book for Cameron Wood (I get that last night was a little bit hard for poor Woody, but let's be honest, when has Woody ever been really excellent?)
And yeah.
Hopefully this list makes it to Bucks.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Well, well, well.
Here we are again. Another week, another putrid loss.
Obviously, my list from last week either didn't work or didn't make it to Nathan Buckley. I'm thinking the latter because that was a pretty damn good list.
So, because lists don't work, time for a different approach. Here is a eulogy:
There once was a boy named Alex Fasolo.
He was a mischievous little kid, always annoying his older brother and sister, and stealing their food.
Alex ate and ate and ate, spending all his teenage years eating.
His bum was the biggest in his town, nearly the biggest in the world.
"I wanna be Beyonce!" little Alex squealed, grabbing a microphone and singing.
Unfortunately, his bum was a little too big, so he settled for being a footballer.
Alex's football career was all highs. Besides one Grand Final loss, he had 18 premiership medals, a couple of Brownlows, and a banana flavoured lollipop.
He also met a wonderful girl who he immediately fell in love with.
Her name was Laura.
They had 2 children together, named Jye and Mellifluous, and lived in a big mansion on a hill.
One day, when Laura was teaching Mellifluous how to ride a dinosaur, she was struck by lightning.
Alex was struck by heart-wrenching sobs and took his two children and left the country.
For days and weeks and months, Alex was in a state of depression. It took everything Jye and Mellifluous had to keep the family alive. Mellifluous went out hunting and Jye stayed at home and opened his own laundromat.
Then, one day, there was a knock on the door.
It was Delta Goodrem.
Alex immediately forgot about Laura, and married Delta straight away.
They have four children together, named Zane, Paul, Bree and Diego.
Alex and Delta and their six children moved to the moon, where houses were being built and an amusement park.
They had fun for several years, eating lots of cheese and riding the moon go-karts.
Then, tragically, the vampire roller coaster broke down with Delta trapped inside. They were able to fix this quickly, but Delta went mad from the vampires and died.
Alex was deeply hurt and vowed never to see a vampire in his life or he would kick their face in.
The next day, they moved back to Earth and settled down in Forks Washington.
He met a nice bloke named Edward who was covered in glitter.
They hit it off right away and adopted a spider monkey together. They named it George.
Alex, Edward, the six children and George were very happy.
Until George brought home a girlfriend, a rogue monkey that he'd met at the local monkeys fair. George's girlfriend killed Alex's whole family including George, and the only thing that remained in that little cottage in Forks was a banana flavoured lollipop.
The end.
Here we are again. Another week, another putrid loss.
Obviously, my list from last week either didn't work or didn't make it to Nathan Buckley. I'm thinking the latter because that was a pretty damn good list.
So, because lists don't work, time for a different approach. Here is a eulogy:
There once was a boy named Alex Fasolo.
He was a mischievous little kid, always annoying his older brother and sister, and stealing their food.
Alex ate and ate and ate, spending all his teenage years eating.
His bum was the biggest in his town, nearly the biggest in the world.
"I wanna be Beyonce!" little Alex squealed, grabbing a microphone and singing.
Unfortunately, his bum was a little too big, so he settled for being a footballer.
Alex's football career was all highs. Besides one Grand Final loss, he had 18 premiership medals, a couple of Brownlows, and a banana flavoured lollipop.
He also met a wonderful girl who he immediately fell in love with.
Her name was Laura.
They had 2 children together, named Jye and Mellifluous, and lived in a big mansion on a hill.
One day, when Laura was teaching Mellifluous how to ride a dinosaur, she was struck by lightning.
Alex was struck by heart-wrenching sobs and took his two children and left the country.
For days and weeks and months, Alex was in a state of depression. It took everything Jye and Mellifluous had to keep the family alive. Mellifluous went out hunting and Jye stayed at home and opened his own laundromat.
Then, one day, there was a knock on the door.
It was Delta Goodrem.
Alex immediately forgot about Laura, and married Delta straight away.
They have four children together, named Zane, Paul, Bree and Diego.
Alex and Delta and their six children moved to the moon, where houses were being built and an amusement park.
They had fun for several years, eating lots of cheese and riding the moon go-karts.
Then, tragically, the vampire roller coaster broke down with Delta trapped inside. They were able to fix this quickly, but Delta went mad from the vampires and died.
Alex was deeply hurt and vowed never to see a vampire in his life or he would kick their face in.
The next day, they moved back to Earth and settled down in Forks Washington.
He met a nice bloke named Edward who was covered in glitter.
They hit it off right away and adopted a spider monkey together. They named it George.
Alex, Edward, the six children and George were very happy.
Until George brought home a girlfriend, a rogue monkey that he'd met at the local monkeys fair. George's girlfriend killed Alex's whole family including George, and the only thing that remained in that little cottage in Forks was a banana flavoured lollipop.
The end.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Getting flogged by North has taught us a lesson.
We need more sleeve tattoos.
And more Swanny's and a stack of Beamsy's. Quick, someone get a pen and paper so I can write down this order.
1 x hair gel for Daisy Thomas.
57 x hair gel for Sharrod Wellingham.
8 x mud cakes for Alex Fasolo (with an extra four scoops of ice-cream)
3 x packets of glue for Chris Dawes. (to go on his hands, of course, why else?)
22 x me, for each of the players.
1 x nail clippers, for Daisy Thomas. (heh)
21 x players who can actually kick properly to people who are tall but not that tall, for Travis Cloke.
1 x Ben Johnson, just because of reasons.
1 x Krakouer, also because of reasons.
1 x prying rod, to pry Reid's knee out of Jolly's head. (omg, the joke never gets old, okay, shut up)
1 x Josh Thomas, again, because of reasons.
1 x Jye Bolton.
3 x pairs of pink underwear, for Daisy Thomas.
EDIT: I forgot to add some things.
1 x souvenir Fremantle jumper for Chris Tarrant, just to remind him of WHY we sent him over there, and WHY we got him back.
1 x number 3 Collingwood jumper, for Nathan Brown to give his brother.
1 x holiday booked in September for the following people: the whole Hawthorn team, Chris Judd, Brad Scott, and of course Jimmy Bartel.
1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo. (idk, I just imagined Faz with a puppy, and my brain exploded with cuteness)
1 x digital SLR camera, for Harry O'Brien. (y'know, for Weekly Steele Photos, of course)
1 x proper manager for Travis Cloke.
41 x donkeys for Travis Cloke. (because you can never have enough in your kitchen, trust me)
1 x slab of beer for Dane Swan. (WHO PUT THIS ON THE LIST, OMG GO AWAY, SWANNY, STOP STEALING THE PEN)
1 x packet of bright pink berries for Stephen Milne. (delivered to him with a big pink bow and frilly white lace around it)
1 x razor for Brent Macaffer.
And yeah.
Someone send this list to Nathan Buckley, thanks.
We need more sleeve tattoos.
And more Swanny's and a stack of Beamsy's. Quick, someone get a pen and paper so I can write down this order.
1 x hair gel for Daisy Thomas.
57 x hair gel for Sharrod Wellingham.
8 x mud cakes for Alex Fasolo (with an extra four scoops of ice-cream)
3 x packets of glue for Chris Dawes. (to go on his hands, of course, why else?)
1 x nail clippers, for Daisy Thomas. (heh)
21 x players who can actually kick properly to people who are tall but not that tall, for Travis Cloke.
1 x Ben Johnson, just because of reasons.
1 x Krakouer, also because of reasons.
1 x prying rod, to pry Reid's knee out of Jolly's head. (omg, the joke never gets old, okay, shut up)
1 x Josh Thomas, again, because of reasons.
1 x Jye Bolton.
3 x pairs of pink underwear, for Daisy Thomas.
EDIT: I forgot to add some things.
1 x souvenir Fremantle jumper for Chris Tarrant, just to remind him of WHY we sent him over there, and WHY we got him back.
1 x number 3 Collingwood jumper, for Nathan Brown to give his brother.
1 x holiday booked in September for the following people: the whole Hawthorn team, Chris Judd, Brad Scott, and of course Jimmy Bartel.
1 x puppy for Alex Fasolo. (idk, I just imagined Faz with a puppy, and my brain exploded with cuteness)
1 x digital SLR camera, for Harry O'Brien. (y'know, for Weekly Steele Photos, of course)
1 x proper manager for Travis Cloke.
41 x donkeys for Travis Cloke. (because you can never have enough in your kitchen, trust me)
1 x slab of beer for Dane Swan. (WHO PUT THIS ON THE LIST, OMG GO AWAY, SWANNY, STOP STEALING THE PEN)
1 x packet of bright pink berries for Stephen Milne. (delivered to him with a big pink bow and frilly white lace around it)
1 x razor for Brent Macaffer.
And yeah.
Someone send this list to Nathan Buckley, thanks.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
ADVENTUROUS ADVENTURES ON THE BUS
So, basically, this guy got on (with black skin & a black jacket - all information is relevant to the story okay) & forgot to touch on. So the bus driver said "Hey you, Mr Black, could you touch on" so the guy touched on, and that was that.
Anyway, when the bus got to his stop, the guy had a full-on argument with the driver because he thought the driver was referring to his skin colour, not jacket. The guy was like yelling and saying the driver needed to be more polite, and the driver just kept reverting the conversation back to how the guy would've fare evaded if he hadn't said anything. Because the driver hadn't meant to be racist or anything, he was referring to the guy's clothes.
I was sitting there the whole time with my hand in my mouth trying not to laugh. It was pretty funny, okay, I just wanted to share.
Anyway, when the bus got to his stop, the guy had a full-on argument with the driver because he thought the driver was referring to his skin colour, not jacket. The guy was like yelling and saying the driver needed to be more polite, and the driver just kept reverting the conversation back to how the guy would've fare evaded if he hadn't said anything. Because the driver hadn't meant to be racist or anything, he was referring to the guy's clothes.
I was sitting there the whole time with my hand in my mouth trying not to laugh. It was pretty funny, okay, I just wanted to share.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Sorry for not blagging much, I'm sure you've all missed me. I've been very busy with Tumblr uni and thinking about what will happen in Season 4 of Glee life in general so yeah.
Today was a good day, I only had two lectures. One was Analytical which was alright, the other was Biotech, where we got to drink champagne (no really, we were reading a case study on champagne corks and the lecturer was like, "What is this study missing?" and we all did our best impersonations of Mr Blank Face (I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I do a pretty good impersonation) and the lecturer was like, "Exhibits!" and pulled out a champagne bottle, popped the cork and we all danced around and sang Red Solo Cup. It was fun).
Anyway, on the way home, I dropped off my library book (which I had read a bajillion times because it was so awesome... it was called Team Human for those playing at home) and after borrowing Catching Fire (because I've only read it once), I went to take a squiz at the local bookshop to see if they had the book I desperately want to read (Land of Stories by Chris Colfer, if you are still playing at home).
And guess what?
....
...
...
.
..............
...
..
...
....
...
...
..
.
.
..
.
.
.
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.
.
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.
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.
.
.
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.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THEY DID.
It was exciting. I couldn't buy it though, because I didn't take any money with me to uni that day, heh. :P
But I will go back and get it, okay. Chris Colfer deserves my money. Not that he'll get much of it with all the publishers and bookshop and other people along the way but WHATEVER.
Bye.
Today was a good day, I only had two lectures. One was Analytical which was alright, the other was Biotech, where we got to drink champagne (no really, we were reading a case study on champagne corks and the lecturer was like, "What is this study missing?" and we all did our best impersonations of Mr Blank Face (I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I do a pretty good impersonation) and the lecturer was like, "Exhibits!" and pulled out a champagne bottle, popped the cork and we all danced around and sang Red Solo Cup. It was fun).
Anyway, on the way home, I dropped off my library book (which I had read a bajillion times because it was so awesome... it was called Team Human for those playing at home) and after borrowing Catching Fire (because I've only read it once), I went to take a squiz at the local bookshop to see if they had the book I desperately want to read (Land of Stories by Chris Colfer, if you are still playing at home).
And guess what?
....
...
...
.
..............
...
..
...
....
...
...
..
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THEY DID.
It was exciting. I couldn't buy it though, because I didn't take any money with me to uni that day, heh. :P
But I will go back and get it, okay. Chris Colfer deserves my money. Not that he'll get much of it with all the publishers and bookshop and other people along the way but WHATEVER.
Bye.
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